Your parents are two of your favorite people in the world, and their house is full of memories and nostalgia. There are certain things that every set of older black parents I’ve met have in their home, but let’s just cover the basics.

Hella VHS movies

Although they have a small collection of DVDs your parents still have their entire VHS collection, and just bought a new VCR/DVD player so that they don’t have to worry about getting rid of their old videos or upgrading from a lifetime of collecting movies. They know those VHS videos are going to be worth some money some day, and maybe they’re right, but you’re not trying to have to fix the tracking every five minutes on family movie night.

A box of old issues of Jet and Ebony 

There’s a box of these (and maybe more than one box) in the garage, but they’re also sitting out on the coffee table in the living room as well. When your white friend finally earns an invitation to the cookout, and asks you why the magazines are all from 1995, you just laugh. It’s a black thang.

A vase of fake flowers

Even though you bring your mother beautiful flowers from Trader Joe’s every weekend for Sunday dinner, she refuses to get rid of the fake centerpiece on the table. Your flowers usually sit on the kitchen counter until Saturday, when she tosses them in expectation of the next bouquet you’ll bring.

The dirtiest fan ever

You wouldn’t dare put your face near this fan to sound like you’re underwater, anymore. When you come over for the summer family bbq, and offer to wipe the fan down before everyone else arrives, your mom goes off about how she knows how to keep a clean house. She does… but the fan is still dirty, though.

A bowl of old candy

Whichever one of your parents is the frugal one got this bag of candy on sale at K-mart after Halloween two years ago, and refuses to acknowledge that no one likes that kind of candy (which is why it has gone untouched) and also refuses to throw it away, saying that they aren’t going to waste their hard earned money. The candy has become an antique for you.

The couch nobody can sit on

Your dad bought your mom the white suede couch she wanted, and now won’t let anyone sit on it because he doesn’t want it to get messed up. Your parents argue about this, and even though it’s your mom’s gift, your pops won’t budge. You’re pretty sure it’ll eventually get covered with plastic as a compromise, but then, no one will want to sit on it.

The fancy towels nobody can use

This is your mother’s doing. She’s always trying to outdo her sister Pearly Mae’s bathroom sets, so every family event there’s a new bathroom set to show off, and a pile of napkins on the sink for drying your hands, since no dare touch the towels that she spent hours shopping for.

The dusty box with the fancy dishes

Your mom only takes out the fancy dishes when Uncle Esquire comes to town, and since he moved to London in 1965, only visiting every five years or so, the fancy dishes are usually in a dusty box in the laundry room. When asking if you could take them out for your engagement party, your mom responds, “You know those are only for when your Uncle Esquire visits.”

A framed picture of Barack Obama

This was the first thing they ordered after he was elected. Now, of course they also have coffee mugs, calendars, and a bumper sticker for dad’s Caddy, but the framed picture of Barack, Michelle, and the girls sits prominently with the rest of your family pictures.

An end table overflowing with junk mail

You encourage them every week during Sunday dinner to start putting some of that junk mail in the recycling bin, but the frugal parent refuses because there might be deals or coupons missed if they were to just throw it away haphazardly like that. You sigh, and stab your fork in your mashed potatoes.

A record player

The musically inclined parent is always talking about the “good old days” of music and how it doesn’t sound how it used to. They refuse to play any music on the very expensive CD system you bought for both of your parents, only ever dusting off the same three records (even though they own over a thousand) as an example of how much better music was in “their day.”