6 ways black women can stop standing in their own way

As a black immigrant woman living in Canada, I have seen the many ways we hold ourselves back. We, as black women, sometimes forget our worth, and in most cases, we set goals at a level that isn’t deserving of our talents. We sit and wait for someone to notice our hard work and, sometimes, when we do get an opportunity to share what we have done, we end up selling ourselves short. We can also forget to raise our hands and ask for what we want. We question and doubt ourselves and often set ourselves up for failure in either our personal or professional lives.

It’s time to write a new story for 2016. We’re destined for greatness. Who you are is your unique advantage. There is greatness within you. So as we enter a new year, here are six ways you can live your best life, starting today!

1. Stop waiting until you’re “ready” to start pursuing your passion

There will never be a perfect time to start. If you’re alive, you’re ready. Start by taking action today. Choose one thing that you’ve been meaning to do and make a commitment to act within the next 24 hours.

“The path to success is to take massive, determined action.” — Tony Robbins

2. Make time for what really matters

Too often we get lost in what other people want for us. Take some time to find out what you really want and then find the courage to follow that path. Your gifts/talents will be amplified when you make time for what matters to you the most. This leads to a more peaceful, joy-filled, purpose-driven you who is passionate about life and love.

“You have to know what sparks the light in you so that you, in your own way, can illuminate the world.” — Oprah

3. Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it

Asking for help is a sign of courage. We were not meant to go on this journey alone. Ask for what you need. When we ask for help, we give someone the opportunity to utilize their gifts – what a gift we give by asking!

“Ask for help, not because you’re weak, but because you want to remain strong.” — Les Brown

4. Stop comparing yourself to others

Who you are and where you are is the greatest gift of all. Actually where you are at this exact moment in your life is exactly where you need to be, doing what you need to do. There is no one else like you — no one can compare. Comparison erodes your confidence and self-esteem. It also robs you of the opportunity to celebrate your life. Look to others for inspiration but never compare your beginning to someone else’s middle.

“Comparison is the thief of joy.” — Theodore Roosevelt

5. Let go of the past, forgive yourself and move on

What has transpired in your past cannot hurt you today. The mistakes you made in the past, although they can still haunt you, cannot hurt you. We often give forgiveness to ourselves last. We forgive others when they do us wrong, we accept them back into our lives, yet when it comes to ourselves, we hold on to that wrongdoing with an iron-clad fist, refusing to let go. You have already suffered enough. Let go of the guilt and the shame. Forgive yourself. Look in the mirror, repeat after me: I forgive you. You deserve forgiveness. Forgiveness liberates. Forgiving yourself allows you to move on with your life.

“Renew, release, let go. Yesterday’s gone. There’s nothing you can do to bring it back. You can’t ‘should’ve’ done something. You can only DO something. Renew yourself. Release that attachment. Today is a new day!” — Steve Maraboli

6. Accept yourself and define your own beauty standards

Acceptance is the highest and greatest form of self-love.

E.E Cummings wrote, “To be nobody-but-yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody but yourself — means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight — and never stop fighting.”

To define yourself in a world that is constantly trying to tell you who you are is hard. That I won’t deny. However choosing to love who you are is the greatest power move you can make.

As noted by the late Whitney Houston — “Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all.”

Self-acceptance boosts self-confidence which will lead you to taking more chances and saying YES to BOLD goals and more of what you really want this year.

Karlyn is a Leadership Coach, Author and Founder of SisterTalk Group, a women’s leadership network. With over 20 years in the financial industry, Karlyn has successfully combined her expertise to assist women with playing BIGGER in life and love while achieving long-lasting results in their personal and professional lives. She utilizes the power of storytelling to help women reconnect to their authentic selves which helps them become effective leaders. Her mission is to see a world where women are living their highest and best version of themselves. Using the “Elephant Story Syndrome” (ESS) model, Karlyn helps women identify their internal barriers, discover what is holding them back in life and break through their personal “glass ceiling”—empowering them to pursue their ambitions and goals in life. Karlyn Percil-Mercieca has appeared on Oprah’s Lifeclass 3 times, Global TV, Planet Africa, the UN’s Regional Conference on Women & Children, Huffington Post Live and more.

#goals BLACK WOMEN confidence Self Care Self Confidence self-improvement self-worth Success