“If I had worried about who liked me and who thought I was cute when I was your age, I wouldn’t be married to the president of the United States,” said First Lady Michelle Obama as she addressed a group of girls at the Apollo Theater in Harlem. The subtext is that whatever the immediate gain of short-term indulgence is pales in comparison to the long-term rewards earned through persistence and discipline. This is by no means to suggest that one cancels out the other, simply that if an either/or proposition is at stake, wisdom always opts for the long game.
That being said, if presented the option to have what I want today versus waiting on some unknown future date, I will 100 percent take mine now, please and thank you! Admittedly, I’m a product of my culture.
Every generation invents more and more ways to make life easier. Tasks that might have taken our parents weeks to accomplish can now be done in seconds from the palm of our hand with a quick scroll through the app store. While technological and societal advances have enhanced our quality of life, they have, in many ways, impaired our patience and weakened our endurance. If I could combine the work ethic of my grandmother’s generation with the benefits of modern day advances, I swear I’d be Beyoncé.
Whether or not I ever feel like holding off on what I want right now, I recognize the benefits of short term sacrifice for long term gain. I’ve been working toward mastering this principal the entirety of my adult life. In practical application, it isn’t always cute. But it’s always worth it. There was a two year period in my early twenties when I couldn’t afford to hang out with my friends on the weekends. Technically, I had the money for road trips, cover charges and two drink minimums, but my spare change was allocated toward paying off the credit card debt I had irresponsibly incurred in college and getting that credit score together. Did it suck to be the “Nah, I can’t make it” girl in the clique? Yes. But four years later when I financed and furnished my first home, I was grateful for the restraint I had shown during that time.
This is not to discount the need for spontaneity and adventure. I am all about that #CarefreeBlackGirl life, but for me that was a privilege I had to earn through purposeful sacrifice. I can’t always have what I want when I want it. In fact, I have found that when I am desperate for something (that’s not a necessity), it’s almost always a red flag for some deeper internal deficit I’m trying to mask with a quick boost of external validation. There is nothing wrong with the occasional impromptu splurge, but instant gratification as a lifestyle comes at a price.
It’s the accumulated sum of small and seemingly insignificant decisions that ultimately define your entire life trajectory. It’s important to move with purpose. Whatever your goal, it’s going to require some short term compromise for the long term win. But make no mistake, if you make the investment, YOU WILL WIN!
Do you subscribe to the concept of short term sacrifice, long term gain? Comment below to let us know how it has played out in your life.
This is the third installment of ‘Am I doing this right?’
The transition into adulthood isn’t an easy one. Navigating relationships, managing workplace politics, hitting those milestones on schedule— don’t be fooled, no one knows what they’re doing. There will be all kinds of fumbles, blunders and awkward missteps along the way. If you’re constantly wondering to yourself, “Am I doing this right?” This is just the place for you.
