“I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the Republic for which it stands, one nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.”

We used to recite that every day in the classroom as children. Everyday. It was ingrained in us, and if we didn’t place our hand over our chest and say the pledge, we got reprimanded. It was kind of like a response to Colin Kaepernick’s protest, but on a smaller scale. I pledged to a flag during my childhood that I had no clarity of why exactly I pledged my allegiance to it. But there I stood, under programming, with the rest of my being programmed classmates reciting words that had no depth with us or the inclusion for some of us. As children, you don’t necessarily comprehend that a flag can represent: death, inequality of human life and slavery. As a child, you look at a flag for what it is, a colorful piece of cloth. That cloth plus the words that I recited out of my mouth was like a forced marriage between myself and a nation that didn’t see my value. Was I to make a forced commitment under duress?

I was a kid and pledging my allegiance away to a flag that waves so arrogantly at the disagreement of me and many other people of color was stealing. This country had many times over-agreed with the event of people being bought, sold and killed in order to build this country. I had to pledge allegiance to that. We all did. I mean this country stood to make human trafficking, slavery, and segregation legal. LEGAL. Innocently and ignorantly as a child, I truly didn’t comprehend for which that flag stood. I said that pledge every morning as they spoke it over the school’s intercom. I know that pledge by heart. This country has stood for a lot of heinous things and I wasn’t supposed to stand for any of that.

I’m an adult now and although I love my country, I don’t stand with it on everything (hardly anything). I am a black, Christian woman. Those three descriptions of my identity alone are counts against me in this country. *Inserts sarcasm here*

How dare I be black and a Christian! How dare I be black and worship a “white man's” God! Oh, and how dare I be a woman and use my voice in this deeply rooted system of patriarchy! And being black? Please! That’s an automatic crime as America has stated it in the past. So, yes, this is three counts against myself and my intersectional identity. I pledged to a country that often overlooks me and people like me. It’s kind of twisted if you think about it. It’s like forcing someone to accept their own unacceptance.

I don't have to tell you what you already know. None of that pledge rings a bell of truth today, and judging by this past election and history itself, it never did. The division is now in all of our faces, including the ones who once denied and dismissed a person of color’s truth. It isn’t hiding anymore because it’s found it’s freedom to be out in the open.

How about that indivisible part? We live in a nation that has a great lack of reverence for the God in which this country founded itself on. Where did those values go? Where were they ever at? What does liberty look like and for whom? Where exactly is justice at? Justice and liberty must’ve been tag teaming and playing "Where’s Waldo" for decades because people of color, in America, haven't seen them since they had names to identify by. Are justice and liberty wearing orange too? America hasn’t been one nation under God, probably since it’s inception. One nation takes a unity and since there has been an exclusion of folks for over 240 years, I guess we can cancel what the rest of the pledge says. Doesn’t that pledge seem like a bit of a contradiction to you? Right now it does. Until America is befitting of every word of what that pledge means, we don’t have the right to say it.

In the future, maybe it'll be a different story. Maybe we’re getting ready to become a nation that will aspire to be everything that the pledges calls for and more. Maybe we’ll actually be ONE nation under God with that deep reverence for Him and many different people, despite race, religion or creed, will stand undivided. Liberty and Justice will prevail and will be properly honored without corruption of a rigged system. Tables will turn and there will be hope on the other side when they do. It’s possible and I'm sure it will happen, but first we have to deal with this, the thing that we’re going through in this country with this past election.

I have to be the one to ask, is this a necessary confrontation? This is the part where all the denial comes face to face with the hardcore painful truth. People who once denied their faces are being forced up close to see all of the ugliness that people of color have seen for decades. It’s ugly, isn’t it? We know. This might be the intervention for all of that denial and ignorance. Just like there have been generations of unresolved trauma for people of color, there so has also been the unaddressed generational denial, fear and privilege of those who didn't want to see the trauma. Once we deal with this process and dig up these embedded roots then maybe, just maybe the pledge will be a little more truthful.

Nah.

Scratch that.

For more community-submitted content, sign up for our daily newsletter.

Jessica Contessa Dee

Writing since November 2016 · 1 story contributed