So, why is it still so difficult to get ahead professionally or break the stereotypes about who she is and what she can accomplish?
As a full-time entrepreneur among other titles, I often deal with all of the “isms” that increase the gap between who I am and what I feel that I can conquer. However, because I’m someone who’s always up for a challenge,
I’ve learned that in order to beat the “isms” and get what you want, you have to know which rules to follow and which rules to break.
I spoke with five other businesswomen (some are employees and others are entrepreneurs) and asked them about their modern black businesswoman rules for getting ahead. Interestingly enough, they’re rules that many black women can follow to beat the “isms” and get closer to their professional goals.
Tierra Hucke, a Black businesswoman in the corporate world, states her rule, “First and foremost, you’re a lady. At times, it’s going to seem that the business world is made just for ‘good ol’ boys. Not so. Go ahead and pull up to the table and talk shop; you belong there.” She explained that she has often dealt with being the only black woman on the team. Sometimes she has had to deal with having to “prove” that she belongs in the group and has the education, experience and know-how to be a serious asset.
In addition to having a seat at the table, Hucke also discusses the need for black women to understand etiquette and use it appropriately. Etiquette goes beyond place settings and ‘please’ or ‘thank you.’ Hucke believes a deeper understanding of being polite without being passive confirms a black woman’s multi-faceted power. “Etiquette rules will not only show your ‘feminine’ side, but they also show that you can play in the big leagues without compromising your manners or your goals. Mind your manners and make the deal. You’re perfectly and politely capable of doing so.”
Along with etiquette, Black businesswomen deal with serious misunderstandings of their style and identity.Cathryn Barnett, another corporate maven, is known for her bold style that matches her business brilliance. She explains that she struggled with maintaining her sense of personal and cultural style while trying to fit in the male-dominated tech industry where she works. “In the beginning, I struggled with how to wear my hair, what was appropriate work wear, and stuck close to the ‘Dress like you already have your boss’s job’ ideal. The problem was, my boss was a middle-aged white male. I didn’t look like him, nor did I want to dress and act like my boss or carry myself as a man would.”
Every day as Barnett got prepared for work, she worried about her clothes, tattoos, piercings, natural hair and makeup that was “beat to the GAWDS.” Eventually, she found the balance between representing her style and following the dress code rules, “Inserting your personal style doesn’t mean you’re compromising your professionalism or work ethic. You might have to get over the strange looks and the inquisitive comments, but you are to be taken just as seriously in your field as your other male (or female) counterparts.”
Looks aside, the black businesswoman has to deal with her brazen personality and how she sounds. “One of the biggest challenges I have faced over my life and within my own community has been balancing my bravado. Whether I use certainty and confidence in my tone or annunciation and inflection in my speech, there seems to be a problem with how my words come out,” Shani McIlwain, author of Sharing My Mess explains. This isn’t a challenge she faces alone. Many black women are often berated for their speech, whether it’s how she sounds or what she says.
McIlwain, who delivers presentations on her book, as well as runs a small business, spends a lot of time verbally presenting information that’s used to position her as a subject matter expert. If her tone, pitch and articulation aren’t acceptable or “on point”, she struggles with connecting to her audience and capturing the sale. However, she has developed a four-tiered system to help her convey clear messages. “My four nuggets to help balance my bravado follow my R.E.A.D. rules. R: Recognize your trigger moments, E: Embrace who you are and how you speak, A: Appreciate your authentic expression, and D: Don’t dumb yourself down.” Easy enough.
It’s to be expected that re-writing some of the rules can be kind of scary.
However, veteran marine-turned-natural hair entrepreneur Ja’Mesha Bazemore of ImaniJoy Naturals has some sound advice. “To fearlessly and relentlessly pursue your dreams you have to learn how to ignore the external negative chatter from friends and family, but most of all you have to silence your own critic.” Bazemore, who has pursued her vision for a natural haircare line and a children’s journal, says that whenever she becomes afraid of her journey or what’s next for her life, she holds onto her inner peace and channels her strength from her past experiences. “Whenever I pursue any dream, I reach back in time to my time in the Marine Corps and say to myself, ‘If I can complete that, then I can complete anything!’”
When it comes to a bustling career, an amazing physique, perfect hair, a loving relationship and overall security, black women want it all. And we deserve it, right?
However, is there ever a time when we must choose one thing over another in order to create balance? Tamika Archer, owner of ‘I’ll Drink to That’ mobile juice bar, states, “Some say you can have it all. I disagree to a certain extent. You can have it all — just not all at once.” As a rising Ph.D. candidate, entrepreneur, mother, wife and much more, Archer has learned that balance works best when she prioritizes and practices self-care. For her, establishing non-negotiables is the only way she can maintain much of what she wants and forego the things that take up dead space. “I figured out how to configure my own rotational rhythm. Like a new dance, I learned all the steps. So no matter how many times the beat changes, I know the steps and I can fall in line and get right back in rhythm.”
Adina Ferguson, author of I Don’t Want to be your Bridesmaid, sums up the modern black businesswoman’s goals perfectly, “I’ve stepped outside of the kitchen and stepped into the boardroom. I don’t sit back and listen, I stand up and speak. I am not Claire Huxtable with a black briefcase and matching doctor for a husband. I am single and dating or I am married with children. My slacks are high waist and wide-leg. My wrist may be imbedded with ink and my nose may be accessorized with a ring. My secretary’s name is Siri and I plan to close my next deal at my favorite sushi bar.”
All in all, figuring out which rules work for your professional goals will be based on what’s going on in your life. If you’re running a business, working a job, managing a family, a romantic relationship or the plethora of other titles available to you, the point is to make sure you shine in all of them. Sprinkling your dreams with #BlackGirlMagic is a learned trick, but as long as you’re willing to obey some rules and bend others, you can definitely win the game.
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