There has been an ongoing conversation between my sister-friends and I about not feeling cherished by our men. I’m sorry to say that we think a lot of men these days fall terrifyingly short. I’m not saying good men don’t exist — they do. The unfortunate part about this truth is they can seem to be few and far between. If you know you’re a good partner please disregard this message and know we appreciate you. But even you might still find something of value if you keep reading.
But, for those of you reading this knowing damn well you ain’t sh*t – please do better. I know y’all can do better. Start with these tips:
Speak up
The commonalities my sister-friends and I have discovered in some of the men we’ve experienced are cowardice, an inability to communicate effectively, and an inclination to run from issues instead of taking them on. Men withdraw, retreat and sometimes never re-appear, leaving you wondering what the hell happened! Talk to us. We want to know! Forget about hurt feelings and tantrums, speak your peace anyway! We probably need to hear it. Your masculine words and presence can tame any tantrum if expressed effectively.
Pick your battles
Many of our men want to be warriors yet we don’t feel like many of you would go to war for us if need be. The wars some men choose to fight are infantile in nature. Some even choose to fight women. Where are the men who will defend us?
Ditch the misconception of the”gold digger”
Women are choosing to secure our bloodline or our personal futures as a couple when we choose men who have the potential to become or already are strong leaders, self-made and stable financially. This gold digger talk is nonsense. Any guy should want a partner who will hold him accountable to her and what they might create together.
Just be loyal
Lastly, but certainly not least, please stay loyal and respectful to women. Even outside of dating us, have encouraging things to say about us. And don’t turn your backs on black women because of deeply rooted insecurities you have not yet worked out within yourselves. Do your inner work to heal yourselves of your pain so that your preference for women is not actually an effort to erase yourself from the outside in.
Do you agree? What are your viewpoints on how to approach relationships? Sound off in the comments!
