Donald Trump pulled out the latest trick in his bag this week when he brought out Alaska favorite Sarah Palin in Iowa. While her appearance may have excited Lorne Michaels, the rest of us were baffled by what exactly she was trying to say. But never fear, I’ve translated the main reasons she’s hitting campaign corners for the candidate with the slick back.
1. Palin’s Icebreaker Opening
Translation: Welcome back to hell, America.
2. Palin on America’s Workforce
Translation: To all my Beyoncé’s and Lucy Liu’s and whatever else you people do to earn a paycheck. (*Trump: It ain’t tricking if you got it.)
3. Palin on Trump’s Foreign Policy
Translation: I can’t fight.
4. Palin on What a Vote for Trump Really Means
Translation: I hope y’all are covered by Obamacare because you must be ill. I’m just here to collect this coin.
5. The Main Thing
Translate: (unintelligible)
And to be honest, Donald Trump’s face doesn’t lie, but that mouth…
Translation: You have no idea because the honor (just like my limit to BS y’all) does not exist.
