21 of the blackest things the Obamas should do before leaving the White House
February 25, 2016 at 4:14 am
When the White House hosted the Black History Month celebration last week, it got us thinking, maybe the Obamas should level up their peak blackness for the remainder of President Obama’s final term.
We’re sad to see them go on January 20, 2017 but we collaborated on a few ways to make the remaining months a little sweeter. There’s still work to be done but cultural relativism will come in handy, especially when folks want to “pop off”.
Here are 21 actions the Obamas should take before that day comes.
1. Host a national family reunion.
A cookout on the White House lawn. It doesn’t matter if visitors are related or not because everyone knows your melanin will get you into this kind of family function.
2. A Secret Service slab line down Pennsylvania Avenue.
Tippin’ on 44s.
3. Drop a mixtape with fire tracks about being the first Black family.
4. Release an “Obama Family Groove Fitness” box set.
This will give them a jump start on post-presidential side hustle ventures.
5. Declare Black History a yearlong celebration.
Because Black history is American History.
6. Coordinate a White House Milly Rock/Cupid Shuffle/Wobble/Cha Cha Slide Dance Off.
The Oval Office will likely never see this much rhythm ever again.
7. A final national address with a “what’s good” moment to every Obama critic.
“Don’t play with me, Congress.”
8. Incorporating the dap and head nod as official forms of communication.
Code switching liberty for all.
9. A White House celebrity basketball tournament and fish fry.
What’s more patriotic than basketball and fish grease?
10. Hold a first annual White House cypher.
The other reason why Kendrick was at the White House last month, working on his bars with the POTUS.
11. A movie night at the White House viewing Spike Lee joints.
In honor of the Obama’s first date.
12. Start a “National Woke Day”.
A day reserved for all things socially conscious. DeRay Mckesson will make remarks at the inaugural celebration.
13. Have Popeyes cater the next State Dinner.
Biden will say grace.
14. President Obama honoring the veterans of “Durag History Week”.
The POTUS will need to wear his durag to an official event in support and solidarity.
15. Add rims to Air force One.
The Roots will be appointed as official flight entertainment for every trip.
16. A federally mandated Spades Tournament to determine the next President.
If President Obama wins, he will automatically “trump” the 22nd Amendment. #3rdTermObama
17. Appoint DJ Khaled as “Chief Motivational Officer to the Free World”.
Major key to world peace.
18. The Obama women institute a national “Wash and Snapchat it Day”.
Beauty secrets and anti-shrinkage tips revealed from the First Lady.
19. Nominate Awesomely Luvvie as White House Press Secretary.
Because the White House official communication and press releases need a pro like Luvvie to up federal gif game.
20. Remix the Star Spangled Banner with Kendrick Lamar and Beyoncé, produced by Jay-Z.
Francis Scott Key had his turn already.
21. Watch Night Service at the White House this New Year’s Eve with Obama singing “Amazing Grace”.
Because America will need as much prayer as possible more than ever come January 21st.
Exclusive footage of me when the Obamas exit the White House.
Tell us the level of woke you’d like to see the First Family exhibit during their last days down below in the comments section.