5 Things I Would Have Preferred Not To Learn About Ja Rule After Watching The Fyre Fest Documentary
50 Cent been knew.
January 22, 2019 at 8:12 pm
Any 50 Cent beef could easily be chalked up to the Power creator's famed penchant for pettiness. But it appears 50’s everlasting beef with fellow Queens native Ja Rule may be well founded.
Over the weekend, Netflix premiered its documentary on the failure of the Fyre Festival. As a viewer watching Rule's head expand with the number of white men surrounding him, it became evident why he’d been the butt of many jokes from the class clown of Instagram.
The creation and ultimate failure of the 2017 Fyre Festival, which may as well have been a satire on millennial culture, was documented at length by Netflix as well as Hulu. In the initial cyber conversations which followed the catastrophe of the festival — that aimed to be Coachella-like if not better — rich, and mostly white millennials were the target of ceaseless laughter echoing from the Twitterverse one fateful May weekend.
— Trevor DeHaas (@trev4president) April 28, 2017
Thousands of dollars invested in Blink182 and Instagram rich scenery? I think TF not. This was an L taken by the young, wealthy and gullible at which we were supposed to do nothing but just sit back and cackle in common sense. But amid all the hilariously sad naivety seen in the film, Ja Rule was ultimately the one who had us desperately wanting to stop this documentary train.
Rule, born Jeffrey Atkins, reportedly began a partnership with Fyre Fest founder Billy McFarland during the rise of McFarland's earlier company Magnises. Rule was a celebrity and McFarland wanted a celebrity face for his brand.
His partnering with McFarland for Fyre, which only came to light to the average Joe after the event became the laughing stock of social media, seemed born only of having collaborated prior. But once the laughs ignited by the question of "Where Ja Rule come from?" subsided, his lack of business savvy and unwarranted arrogance became the new focal point.
Rule could have been the sensible Black man who said these white folk wildin' and jumped ship. Instead, he stayed. And with that, I'm left with these knowledge burdens to bear:
1. Rather Than Asking J.LO What His Motherf**king Name Was, Rule Would Have Done Himself A Greater Service Crafting Inquiries For Dictionary.com
Following the disastrous Fail Fest, in Netflix’s Fyre, Rule was heard poorly attempting to assuage fellow festival organizers during a conference call. The “Holla, Holla” rapper told the team that with all the "f**king smart" people on deck, there had to be a way to bounce back from the calamity. (First of all, fake news.)
"It's not fraud…it's not fraud. It's false advertising."
As much as we all loved a good "What's my motherf**king name?" back in the day, there were clearly more important questions Jeffrey needed to be asking — and the dictionary needed to be one giving the answers, not us. We’ll keep our "R-U-L-E" and/or "are you ready" responses stored away until further notice.
Despite saying that false advertising was at play, following the documentaries’ premieres, Rule was adamant that he did not intend to scam anyone. He even tried to make a very Ja Rule-esque joke about it all.
I guess I’m on Fyre this week… ????????????????
— Ja Rule (@Ruleyork) January 20, 2019
2. He Talks In Those Goddamn Trump Circles
Rule talks a whole lot of nothing by way of a lot of words and even more self-assurance. Listen to literally anything he says in the documentary — or better yet, don't.
3. Mama Definitely Raised A Fool
In fact, the parents of all Fyre concertgoers did. Rule was not the only one to buy into McFarland's sociopathic charm and blindly regard his word as truth to the point of derailing personal finances. But when s**t so clearly started going left, he should've gone right on home to let that scammer, who he affectionately referred to as his "brother," deal with his mess.
4. Chanel Iman Ain’t Jumping In Nobody’s Waters For Some Ja Rule
2017 was not 2001. The Fyre Fest promo shoot was not the set of "Livin It Up." But we're not sure if Ja Rule knew this. During a poorly planned promo shoot for the fest, a number of top models stood around a Bahamian beach with the rapper turned brand ambassador and other festival organizers. Among them was Victoria's Secret model Chanel Iman. Upon profanely instructing the 28-year-old supermodel to get in the “f**king water” during what appeared to be a chilly night, sis straight told the early 2000s era rapper she had no intentions of getting in anybody's salty seas for him. Also, don't talk to a woman like that, ever.
5. He Is Fully Deserving Of All Past, Present And Future Clownery From 50 Cent
Do better, Ja Ja.
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