I was recently and quite shockingly confronted by a family member who is so against my happy little union that they felt it was okay to disrespect not only my relationship, but me as well. That was unacceptable.
Unlike this attack coming from a stranger whose opinion would have been of little consequence, it came from family, which is significantly harder to take. After the encounter, I felt hurt, betrayed, confused and so disappointed. Coincidentally, this all transpired on December 31, 2015. I spent the last day of the year in tears, fending off multiple panic attacks.
However, I now know that I have the power in this situation. I know that I am not alone and wanted to share a few tips on how to get through it.

5. If you have to question your relationship in any way, walk away. 

This is important. If anything that someone says rings true, do you and your partner a favor and walk away from the relationship. You clearly have a bit more soul searching to do and it’s not fair for you to drag your partner through this painful event. Be brave enough to take the time to look at what matters to you.

4. Correct them in the moment.

Not only is it unacceptable to say the hurtful things, but it is even more unacceptable to let it go unchecked. Similar to the NYPD’s “If you see something, say something.” Racism or prejudice needs to be pointed out and commented on in the moment. Family or not, do not be afraid to argue for what you believe in. If you stand for nothing…

3. Have your partner’s back.

You might be feeling some way about the situation but also acknowledge that the person you are with might be equally as devastated knowing that they are not accepted by someone in your family due to the color of their skin. Make sure they know that none of what was said plays any part in the love you two share. You will need each other to get through this.

2. Cut ties. 

This one is quite possibly the hardest of the list. What if you are losing the most important person in your life? The truth is, if this person does not celebrate this or any part of your life and achievements, they no longer need to be in your life. If you are in the process of building yourself up and enjoying life, you don’t need the negativity. Although it might be hard to let family go, think about how much more painful it will be to keep them around. This doesn’t need to be permanent. Hopefully that person realizes that losing you is much worse a fate than enduring something they perceive to be wrong and comes around.

1. Do you, boo!

At the end of the day, you have to live with yourself and the decisions you make. Surround yourself with those who love you beyond measure. Cry it out if necessary. Write it down.The opinions of others, sought after or not, should not dissuade you from living the life you want.