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If you’re like me, motherhood is kicking your ass during the pandemic. You’re trying to be super-mom, super-teacher (to the kids) and super-employee (while working remotely). Zoom calls seem irrelevant, you’re judging yourself for not providing quality instruction to your children and the house just might be a tad bit junky because after all, you’re home all the damn time.

Can this be? It can’t be life. Where can I find a time out, please? 

To add further pressure, hands in the air if you’re doing it solo dolo. No pity, just acknowledgment that we’re badass, because while some have help, we’re doing the job of two as one. Talk about a boss!

While all of the aforementioned might be stressful, you have to know when to ask for help or relief. It’s easy to become overwhelmed and then feel guilty for feeling overwhelmed, because after all, they’re our kids, right? Motherhood in general can be demanding, but it’s double the pressure when it’s all on one. What you and your kids deserve above all is a happy and healthy mama, not a mama who is angry and stressed every minute of the day. Trust, they’ll remember you being angry more than they’ll remember the “why” behind it.

It’s no secret being a single mama can indeed be chaotic, and I’ve only been about this life for 15 months. (That’s how old my son is.) The following are some strategies that have helped me get through the worst days:

1. Play Calming Music (Not Lullabies, But Music For You)

For me, Jazz instrumentals work amazingly. Once I turn on my Terence Blanchard radio on Pandora, it’s a wrap. I can hear my thoughts over the music.

2. Pray (Seriously.)

A worn out mama isn’t good for anyone or anything. Before negative thoughts overtake you, pray.

3. Confide In A Close Family Member Or Trusted Friend That You Are Tired And Need A Break For A Few Hours

For self-care purposes, make sure this time is used for you to do something for you.

4. Meditate

For me, journaling is my meditation. It’s such a freeing experience to get my thoughts onto paper.

5. Breathe In And Out

Do it as many times as you need.

6. Smile. It’s A Bad Day, Not A Bad Life.

Lean on your village. The village has always been intended to aid and support. When you find your tribe, you’ll know you are home, safe and loved.

When I became a single mom, it was not a dynamic I was familiar with, as I grew up in a two-parent household. I decided to create an enclosed village for my child that was filled with close family and friends who could support, encourage, love and lift us through this lifetime.

During this pandemic it may be extremely hard to pull on the village, but please know that they are there and they are waiting to be used by you. Trust, they know what they signed up for you.

Give yourself a break, mama. You deserve it!

I love you, and I mean it.