We Can't Be Friends: The Complications Of Romantically Falling For An Uninterested Friend
The tale of Ms. Fallen and Mr.Grounded
July 08, 2017 at 4:07 am
We've all given the sly side-eye to that one male and female friendship, that quote on quote brother sister relationship that's a little too close for comfort. The one where everyone knows one individual is infatuated, while the other doesn't feel quite the same. Usually, romantic emotions push one friend to bend over backwards for the other in hopes of winning Eros love-like brownie points. The behavior is confusing because actions can easily be mistaken as generically being a "good supportive friend." When it comes to this complicated scenario, it's quite safe to say that falling for a friend who doesn't feel the same is borderline toxic for both parties.
A friendship should be an unbiased relationship. Your buddies should be willing to give advice that will benefit you in a positive way. A friend who has romantic feelings for the other is no longer an unbiased party (Ms. Fallen). All "sound advice" is going to be based on her romantic emotional interests. Said friend could have met a potential catch, but Ms. Fallen can easily manipulate circumstances to put the potential catch in an unflattering category. Manipulation can easily be masked as advice and the cause of missed opportunities.
When under the influence of someone you have built a significant Phileo bond with, it's very easy to assume that your best interest is at heart. This blind mindset will often have the uninterested friend (Mr. Grounded) falling into continuous traps. Although on a small scale, these traps can take a toll on Mr. Grounded's personal life.
On the receiving end, Mrs.fallen can easily be manipulated as well. Mr. Grounded has the upper hand and can take advantage of the emotional tie. He may use Ms. Fallen to satisfy his emotional boredom when he isn't occupied by someone he actually likes. Ms. Fallen will be strung along until Mr. Grounded finds a girl he wants to be with. Once Mr. Grounded moves on, Ms. fallen will be stricken with animosity.
Through the emotional confusion, the purpose and unconditional aspects of the friendship are completely lost. Its quite evident that a friendship can't be solid when one is falling.