Funny Thanksgiving Quotes

By leah jones

Here are some funny Thanksgiving quotes you can use as captions or send to someone you want to wish a Happy Thanksgiving to.

"I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage." — Erma Bombeck

"Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie." — Jim Davis (creator of Garfield)

"If you think about a Thanksgiving dinner, it’s really like making a large chicken." — Ina Garten

"Overeating at Thanksgiving is a case in point. It’s a national tradition." — Eric Samuel Timm

"Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants." — Kevin James

“The turkey. The sweet potatoes. The stuffing. The pumpkin pie. Is there anything else we all can agree so vehemently about? I don’t think so.” — Nora Ephron

“An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day.” — Irv Kupcinet

"Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not a coincidence." — Erma Bombeck

"I can't cook a Thanksgiving dinner. All I can make is cold cereal and maybe toast." — Charlie Brown (A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving)

"My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor." — Phyllis Diller

"I’m thankful for the three football games on Thanksgiving Day because it keeps the relatives out of my kitchen." — Melanie White

"You know that just before the first Thanksgiving, there was one wise Native American woman saying, 'Don’t feed them. If you feed them, they’ll never leave." — Dylan Brody

"Gobble 'til you wobble."

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