Note: This article contains subject matter relating to suicide. Please read and share cautiously. If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline online or via phone at 1-800-273-8255 (for the deaf and hard of hearing, contact 1-800-799-4889). 

Kandi Burruss is the latest celebrity to speak openly about issues that they have faced. The Real Housewives of Atlanta star has been a staple on the show since season 2. And before reality television, she solidified herself as a top songwriter and producer in the music industry with Grammy-award winning songs like TLC’s “No Scrubs” and hits like Destiny’s Child’s “Bills, Bills, Bills.” But Burruss’ road traveled hasn’t always been easy.

In a recent episode of her popular YouTube show Speak On It, Burruss got emotional when reflecting on experiencing depression and suicidal thoughts in her younger years.

“In middle school, I actually wanted to commit suicide,” she tearfully told her guest Esther when speaking on body positivity, food, and more. “But, praise the Lord, I wasn’t able to find my mama’s gun when I wanted to do it. So that did not happen, praise God.”

Burruss says as she grew up, things got better but her world was rocked when her older brother Patrick Riley was killed in a car accident in Mexico, leaving Burruss as an only child. Riley was instrumental in pushing Burruss to reach her dreams in the music industry. Burruss named her eldest daughter Riley in her brother’s honor.

“When I got to high school, I started to find myself but then I lost my brother,” she continued. “So, it was still dealing with a bout of depression but pushing through.”

She then took a moment to give Esther some words of encouragement in her own battles. “I hate to make this analogy with what you’re dealing with as far as food and weight but in anything that you’re dealing with, there is going to be a sense of – even when you don’t want to, when it doesn’t feel good, when your subconscious, when you’re just feeling emotionally out of it – a sense of in order for you to get to your end goals you’re going to have to push through.”

Watch the full video below: