10 People You Meet at the Barbershop
January 18, 2015 at 11:22 am
I received my first hair cut at the tender age of four along side my twin brother. It was an eventful experience filled with crying, a lot of head shaking, and my mom vowing to never bring us back to that particular barber shop that will go unnamed.
Even though that experience wasn’t the best, I have had plenty that were great and learned from the people that were always there. Whether it be the young kid getting his Valentines day hair cut or the pastor getting his hair cut the day before Sunday service. I have come across a ton of characters at my local barbershop. You are bound to come across a variety of different people but here are 10 people you are bound to come across at your barbershop.
1. The Pretty Boy.
This is the narcissist who comes into the shop once a week just to make sure he’s sharp. He might even come in twice a week if it’s a special occasion like a first date or if he’s going out with his boys looking to score a few numbers. He has to have his hair washed and facial hair trimmed every time he comes in.
2. The Pastor. He always has his set appointment so whenever he comes in he hops right up in the chair and gets a cut. He constantly talks about how times have changed with these young folk out here and how we all need to be in church on Sunday. He always gets a one (lowest haircut without being bald) when he comes in so he doesn’t have to come in every two weeks.
3. The Stuart Scott
This person knows everything about basketball. Even while he’s in the chair he’s talking smack about how his favorite team is going to win the championship this year. Even though his favorite team is not even in playoff contention. He’s the coolest guy in the shop because he can talk about basketball, money, and women all in the same sentence. He knows about everything in the sports world. When you challenge his knowledge and he gets it right, he rubs it in your face every time. He always comes in to get a shape up so he’s at the shop talking trash every week about your favorite team.
4. The Stephen A. Smith.
This man thinks that since he’s been around for ages he knows everything under the sun about football. He seems to know everything about football but never played a snap in his life. His team is always the team to beat (not really) but he always thinks so. He could have went to the NFL if he would have not been lazy in high school. He always brings a good laugh to the shop when you are waiting a long time. This guy is old school. He always gets his faced shaved with a straight razor to prove his time matters and not yours.
5. The political expert.
This guy swears up and down that they know everything about politics but clearly knows nothing. He blames everything that happens in politics and in h own life on “the man”. We’ve all had to sit through an hour long dissertation from this person. You try to slip on headphones and act like your texting every time but they always ask you questions as they continue to utter lies. Don’t get me wrong they definitely do bring up some important topics but most of the time they don’t know the facts.
6. Parent and their bay bay kids.
This parent loves their kids but has no control over them. While one child is in the chair getting their haircut the other one is throwing his toys around the shop because he doesn’t want to get a haircut today. We’ve all seen this person and get uncomfortable every time they come in because you just want to offer a few parenting tips but know its not your place to do so.
7. Bruh Man.
This hustler is selling all of the latest and greatest movies and cds. Even if you can’t find them in stores yet he has them and he has them for the LOW. He might have four dvds for ten dollars of five cds for four bucks. Instead of going black friday shopping you go to him for the latest electronic deals. He never gets a haircut but some how he always has a fresh haircut when you see him.
8. The Plug.
This person ALWAYS comes in ready to sell barber products. You need a comb? He has it. You need a brush? He has it. You need a du-rag? He has it. He’s basically your one stop shop to anything and everything that has to do with hair care. If you are lucky sometimes he might even throw in that new weave for your girl.
9. The Hypebeast.
This kid has to have what ever haircut is in style. No matter how ridiculous it looks. Whether it be the high top fade that kid and play used to rock or the Yeezy symmetrical arrow pattern cut, this kid must have it today. Even if his hair hasn’t completely grown back from his previous haircut. This kid always bring some laughter to the shop every time you see one of his ridiculous hair style choices.
10. The New Guy.
Every barber shop has one. This new person who is looking for a barber after having their hair line destroyed by a barber they finally got fed up with. This person brings a sense of mystery because you don’t know them yet and don’t know how they’ll react to the culture of the shop. He’s usually quiet when heated debates are going on but when he’s finally comfortable he’s giving his piece of mind and throwing f-bombs left and right.
Every barber shop is different but you definitely will find these 10 characters at yours. Enjoy the laughter and the knowledge that they bring during every visit to get that fresh haircut.