There's something to be said about being able to speak in your truth as a black woman, even the parts that may be uncomfortable because, above all, these moments are human.
One particular mother, 23-year-old Olivyah Bowens, decided to use social media to get real in a way typically barred to mothers, particularly black mothers. The doula, based in Puerto Rico is a mother of two, according to Yahoo Lifestyle.
“No one teaches you how to love a child you didn’t plan to have,” wrote Bowens in her Instagram caption, along with a picture of her 2-year-old daughter Ozara, who appeared to be having a typical toddler meltdown. “No one shows you how to traverse the emotional complexity of loving a child you weren’t happy about being pregnant with. It’s even more difficult at those times when they’re having tantrums and pushing you to a point of emotional exhaustion.”
“This stage of motherhood has forced me to look at my reflection in my daughter’s eyes and realize that no I don’t enjoy being a mother all the time, but this child has been the catalyst for major growth,” she continued. “She is the mirror that allows me to look into my past and see the fears still controlling me now. … The reality is I don’t want to be a mother every day. I don’t want to feel held back from chasing my dreams and goals. I don’t want to be exhausted. But I KNOW this little girl has brought me face to face with things that would have otherwise been ignored in my bubble of childless freedom.”
In conclusion, Bowens wrote she wanted to share her personal story to encourage other mothers to let go of the guilt.
“Dear mama, who is going through an unplanned pregnancy, don’t feel guilty, don’t feel afraid, don’t feel ashamed,” she wrote. “That baby chose YOU to be its mothers at the perfect time. Surrender to the journey of unpredictability and let this new being show you a whole new part of yourself you didn’t know was there.”
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