When will a woman be accountable only for herself? Why should a person have their values or work questioned because of their partner? Black men get established all the time, then decide they prefer cream in their coffee.

I don’t want to come across as the bitter woman, because that’s not the case, but when I ask why people date outside their race these are the answers I receive (please clutch your pearls).

1. Black women don’t know how to be subservient.

2. Black women can’t handle me or don’t know to act.

3. Black women are not freaky enough.

4. I find black women unattractive. 

5. Black women are too ghetto or obnoxious.

Now these are my experiences so I can’t speak for other people. I would ask men who dated white women or vice versa.  I just feel these are the stupidest things that can be spewed out of someone’s mouth, but who am I to judge?

So, I was really in my feelings when the blogs started attacking Serena Williams. Now we know Black Twitter is ruthless at times. It seems that some felt her white bae was a phase—until the engagement. How dare people question the work she has done for blacks just because she decided to play in the snow! This woman transmogrified tennis for this millennium! The last time we had someone this prolific was Althea Gibson.

The only thing that’s baffling to me is that black men can parade around all the light brights and whites they please, with no repercussions. When will this patriarchal hypocrisy end? Some say that this is fictitious, but I beg to differ, because there are plenty of black men who haven’t faced this type of scrutiny: Harry Belafonte, Sidney Poitier, and Cornell West, just to name a few, but their hard work is never because of their mates. 

Why can’t we respect our black women the same way? Especially when it's now being encouraged to date outside our race. If the quote, ”love is love,“ has any weight to it, then stop penalizing us for exploring our options.