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It’s OK To Grieve Mr. Huxtable, But It’s Not OK To Give Bill Cosby A Pass

"I initially called bulls**t because, you know, here we have a wonderful black man, with such a positive impact, being brought down by all of these women with no physical proof or evidence."

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Seeing Bill Cosby’s mugshot struck me. I thought, “Damn. He really did do it.” I felt myself sink a little because the upstanding man and amazing husband and father he played on The Cosby Show was now, to me, a tainted figure. In my eyes, the man behind Mr. Huxtable was no longer perfect. The man behind Fat Albert and Little Bill had single-handedly destroyed what would have been an amazing and powerful legacy — all because of some women. Ain’t that something?

Back in 2005, Andrea Constand filed a civil suit against William “Bill” H. Cosby, Jr. in which she cited that he gave her “herbal” pills to ease her anxiety, and then engaged in “inappropriate touching”; he “touched her breasts, rubbed his penis on her hand and digitally penetrated” her. Not long after that was released, Tamara Green came forward with a similar story. Then numerous Jane Doe witnesses are mentioned in court papers. Numerous women with all the similar, if not damn-near identical, stories all accusing this once beloved man of drugging and raping them.

I initially called bulls**t because, you know, here we have a wonderful black man, with such a positive impact, being brought down by all of these women with no physical proof or evidence. But back in July 2015, he admitted to it. When asked by Andrea Constand’s attorney, Dolores Troiani, if he planned on using the Quaaludes for young women that he wanted to have sex with, he responded, “yes.” He willingly admitted to his intent, and that’s where he put the nail in his coffin, and when everything changed.

It’s OK to be sad about the skewed image of Mr. Huxtable, all while feeling no sympathy for Mr. Cosby. It’s totally OK because Mr. Huxtable was an amazing character, and Mr. Cosby did, unfortunately, do terrible things. It’s also OK to feel conflicted because your views of this man have now changed and warped your memory of him dancing on the stairs with The Cosby Show family. It’s totally OK, but it’s not OK to stand up for him, make excuses for him, try to justify his actions and/or say that it’s all false. 10 times out of nine, there’s truth to these accusations and he’s doing the time his actions earned.

And for those that continue to deny this issue and keep bringing up white people that have done (and are still doing) the same thing, I see you and I totally get it. White America hardly ever faces any consequences unless there’s a bunch of white money involved (looking at you, Bernie Madoff). Brock Turner only got six months in jail. Carolyn Bryant Donham lied on Emmett Till, which led to him being murdered, and she’s still free. George Zimmerman’s punk behind is out here threatening people after he murdered Trayvon Martin in cold blood, and he's free. There are so many more of us that have been abused, murdered, framed and ruined by white people, and their livelihoods are still intact. I totally understand it all. The anger, outrage and heartache, but you have to remember that wrong is wrong. Whether the person committing the crime is white or black, wrong is wrong.

My heart doesn’t necessarily feel for Camille Cosby because a deep part of me feels that she knew what was going on all along, but that’s another story. For those of you that are somehow mourning the loss of the beloved Mr. Huxtable, I feel for you. But you gotta let it go. And for those of you that are still denying that there’s any truth in this, fix it Jesus.

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I'm a writer, traveler, lover of life, and mom of 2. My writing background is in self-love & self-help.