Most of us are still reeling over the deadliest shooting in modern American history, which killed 49 people in Orlando. Somewhat reclusive singer, Frank Ocean, posted an essay on Tumblr in which he discussed the Orlando shooting, religion and transphobia in the light of North Carolina’s recent bathroom bill and more.

He discussed how he felt in church, writing, “I heard my pastor speak for God too, quoting scripture from his book. Words like abomination popped off my skin like hot grease as he went on to describe a lake of fire that God wanted me in.” He also talked about his own father’s transphobia when he was little, describing how his father drug him out of a diner, calling a transgender waitress a homophobic slur and “dirty.”

Ocean even touched on the recent controversy surrounding North Carolina’s “bathroom bill” and how we address mental health issues in the black community. “Many hate us and wish we didn’t exist. Many are annoyed by our wanting to be married like everyone else or use the correct restroom like everyone else. Many don’t see anything wrong with passing down the same old values that send thousands of kids into suicidal depression each year. So we say pride and we express love for who and what we are,” he writes.

He talks about the conflict of his perception of God and what people around the world say and do in the name of God. “We are all God’s children, I heard. I left my siblings out of it and spoke with my maker directly and I think he sounds a lot like myself. If I being myself were more awesome at being detached from my own story in a way I being myself never could be. I wanna know what others hear, I’m scared to know but I wanna know what everyone hears when they talk to God. Do the insane hear the voice distorted? Do the indoctrinated hear another voice entirely?”

You can read Ocean’s full, emotional letter on his Tumblr.

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