Another day, another set of shenanigans from Twitter.

A Twitter user named neauxna challenged others to come up with titles for fictional dissertations.

What would your Real Nigga Dissertation topic be?

Let's Go.

— The Scarlet Witch (@neauxna) May 16, 2019

She received over 5000 responses and the tweet was shared over 13K times.

Here are a few of our faves:

Auntie Maxine is a case study in how to tell someone about themselves.

Reclaiming my Time: A study on sodium-laden responses to Black women’s expression of agency and autonomy

— Amara Enyia (@AmaraEnyia) May 17, 2019

Someone needs to do an in-depth study on why our mamas told us this boldfaced…story.

This hurts me more than it hurts you: The psychological scarring of parents who mesh out corporal punishment

— Nicole ColorMeWild Barnes (@nixxymixx) May 17, 2019

We might not be there when you want us, but Black folks are always on CP time.

"I'm around the corner, I'll be there in five minutes" and other stories: A primer on the various (often fictive but strangely consistent) measurements of time and space in Black diasporas throughout history

— Corvo Attano-Kaldwin???????????????? (@SageSaturn) May 16, 2019

Who needs tupperware when you have an empty butter container?

Is it Country Crock or Leftovers?: How black folks started the repurposing movement

— Kenyetta Chinwe (@PhemSoul) May 17, 2019

It should be microgrants because no one actually gets their dollar back.

Say Bruh Let Me Borrow a Dollar: the prevalence of microloans in the African-American community as an aspect of venture capitalism.

— Maurice Carlos Ruffin (@MauriceRuffin) May 16, 2019

See also: WHO TF YOU TALKING TO and I WISH A N***A WOULD for reference.

You Got Me All the Way Fucked Up: An In Depth Exploration of the Mischaracterization and False Assumptions Assigned to Black People.

— grown ass Black boy (@KeemHastheDream) May 16, 2019

And a follow-up could be how friends perpetuate falsehoods to ensure your presence.

“Who All Over There?”: a Discussion on the importance of crowd investigation to avoid pointless unwanted interaction

— Stoney Tha Great???? (@Stoney_Blu) May 16, 2019

And if you didn't speak, there should be a scientific study on how one is slapped into next week.

"Make Sure You Speak to Everyone When You Walk in That House:" A Examination of Black Parental Guidance on Etiquette and Respect in Informal Social Settings.

— MillionaireAdjacent (@hobbymonster) May 16, 2019

We wouldn't mind a lecture from the HBIC.

You Should Have Just Sat There And Ate Your Food: Exploring More Effective Communicating Skills During The Course of a Meal With Both Acquaintances and Adversaries.

— Duane Foster (@JDCFoster) May 17, 2019

Summer isn’t even here yet and y’all let go of your chill.

Twitter dissertations

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