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Posted under: Culture Opinion

21 definitive characteristics of every cousin who comes around for the holidays

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Remember the Halloween episode of black-ish when Dre's (Anthony Anderson) unrefined cousin June Bug (Michael Strahan) came to visit? His stay was met with a mixed bag of emotions for Dre as he recalled their tumultuous past and the completely different paths the two had taken into adulthood.

Like with most cousins, the relationship is either extremely strong or rather complicated. Your family ties become most apparent during the holidays and family reunions.

When you see your cousins, you both greet each other as so.

Photo: Tumblr

Because ya'll love cutting up together at family gatherings.

Photo: tumblr

But any other time of the year..

Photo: popkey.co

While you're excited to see your cousins, who are like your extended brothers and sisters, you know they come with a whole heap of mess and remember why you keep your interactions at a minimum. Below is a list of definitive characteristics for every cousin that can be found in any family.

1. The cousin who used to slang (probably still does), but has a good heart and always gives you great life advice.

Photo: Tumblr

2. The cousin who you can't leave your purse around.

Photo: Tumblr

3. The cousin fresh off line who just crossed and came decked out in their letters.

Photo: A Different World

4. The cousin who is always opening up a business or planning to start a new venture.

Photo: rebloggy

5. The cousin who brings a new significant other to the table every year so you gotta be careful you don't call this year's flame, last year's name.

Photo: tumblr

6. The cousin who thinks they’re the next patriarch/matriarch of the family so they always try to do jobs that are reserved for elders. (Say grace, carve the turkey, etc.)

Photo: thecoli.com

7. The cousin that always makes the best church punch so you rejoice when she pulls ginger ale and Kool-Aid packets out her purse.

Photo: Titus

8. The cousin always making a million to-go plates and didn't chip in one cent on the meal.

Photo: giphy

9. The little one that stays in grown folk business.

Photo: Giphy

10. The cousin who is a professional student and is always acting brand new.

Photo: ABC / Blackish

11. The cousin whose ball dreams were deflated so he talks over the game the entire time providing unnecessary commentary.

Photo: Boyz n the Hood

12. The cousin who thinks they're too good to learn how to play spades (half-sister to cousin #8).

Photo: tenor

13. The cousin whose kids run all over the house spilling stuff so you understand why your grandma had plastic on her couch back in the day.

Photo: quotesgram.com

14. The cousin always begging for vegan options and counting calories the entire meal (doesn't get along with cousin #13).

Photo: Fade

15. The cousin who normally doesn't mess with this side of the family during the year but only came over because ya'll have cable and he needs to catch the Bayou Classic.

Photo: Tumblr

16. The cousin you can't trust to not burn the rolls so y'all put her on "watch duty" to make sure she keeps an eye on the kids so they don't come in the kitchen.

Photo: tumblr

17. The Hotep cousin who tells you you're glorifying "the white man's holiday."

Photo: Tumblr

18. The cousin who erased everybody off Facebook and is trying their best to deflect attention from questions about what they're trying to hide online.

Photo: tumblr

19. The cousin who made your grandma's cake fall in '92 and is still the black sheep of the family because of it.

Photo: Giphy

20. The cousin who never had kids but is always telling everyone else how to raise theirs.

Photo: giphy
Photo: giphy


Last..but not least.



21. Cousin Faith.

Photo: Soul Food

How your aunt lurks in the corner every year trying to keep busy and stay way from the sharp objects.

Photo: Tumblr

You watching all of the mess unfold, waiting on someone to tell you that you're adopted.

Photo: Tumblr

Sike! It doesn't matter. You love them and wouldn't trade your family for the world.

Photo: Imgur

Be ye not deceived. You are one of these folks to somebody. Cousining is an equal opportunity relationship for dysfunction.

How your cousins probably look at you every year.

Photo: Tumblr

Which cousin(s) on this list belong on your family tree? Tell us in the comments!




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