Anytime I get to talk about my marriage, I get extremely excited. I’ve married the person who, to me, was made for me. I know there are a lot of people who don’t believe in that concept, but I do. A few things I’ve learned since being married on March 1, 2015, is that the person you marry is crucial to your business’ success.

Why do I say that? Because the atmosphere at your home controls your attitude. We already have a million and one things that we’re thinking about, and knowing that you’re failing as a spouse because you can’t find time can take a toll on you. You’re so engulfed with your business that it can make your significant other bitter if they don’t understand you.

Have you ever heard the saying “happy wife happy life”? Exactly. And vice versa, the same applies for husbands who are supporting their ambitious wives or any combination of spouses supporting each other’s dreams.

But beyond that, think about what it would be like if you married someone who dreaded the entrepreneurship lifestyle? Someone who really didn’t understand how you thought. Think about every time you share a new idea and it being shot down with sarcastic narcissism and with a hint of a “here they go with another idea” look on their face. That’s draining for any entrepreneur. We are full of ideas and excited about almost each and every one of them. If you have a spouse who doesn’t understand that, it can make for a rocky marriage.

I was a little timid about getting my wife on board with my business at first because I felt like mixing business with my personal life could end in tragedy. But to my surprise, it has been the best thing I’ve ever done!

If you’re married but have reservations about involving your spouse in your business, I get it. But you could be missing out! Here are 7 things to consider:

Marry the right person

Don’t marry anyone negative. If you’re with a spouse who has nothing but negative things to say about the desires on your heart, I feel for you. It’s alright to have a healthy balance of optimism and realism, but trust me, entrepreneurs are already thinking what the critics thinking. When things fail, we’re hard on ourselves, and whether you believe it or not, sometimes we want to throw in the towel. Our spouse is key to keeping us motivated and encouraging us when rough times hit. If you marry the wrong person, gosh, you’re going to feel bad about yourself often.

Share the vision

Entrepreneurs really want our spouses to care just as much as we do about our vision. That doesn’t have to mean that you do what we do. But we would like you to own what we’re doing and be as invested in it as we are. You can show that by simply saying, “Hey, what can I do to help?” Sometimes we don’t need much, but we do need to know if you have our back regardless. However you show that depends on the culture of your marriage.

Be their anchor

You remember what I was saying about us having so many different ideas? This can be a good thing and a bad thing. It’s easy for us to get distracted. I suck at patience. If something isn’t working and I can’t see results immediately, I’ll move on to the next thing. This isn’t a good trait at all. My wife helps to keep me grounded and focused; she’s my anchor. She doesn’t let me run off and pursue every idea that comes to me. This is a life saver, or we would probably not have a business at all.

Don’t stress us out

I know you’re worried about bills, living expenses and groceries. But I need you to know something — we’re worried about those things too! This is why we’re breaking our necks to make sure our next move is our best move. Please keep us aware of our current condition, but please don’t nag. You’ll only frustrate us more. If we’re stressed out, we won’t be productive. Your happiness and well-being are important to us, so please cut us a break.

Can’t be afraid to jump

Or in layman’s terms, you can’t be afraid of risk taking. We love taking risks. We aren’t your typical human being. Having a spouse that’s afraid to jump can delay the process. I’m not saying you can’t have reservations, but I am saying that you can’t have reservations EVERY time. Feel the wind beneath your wings. Smell the fresh air! On three……. One, TWOOO *pushes you out the plane before saying 3* I love you, babe!

Quality time might not look how you thought it would

What does that mean? You have to be open to saying that quality time with your spouse might not be dinner and a movie. Quality time might be you both teaming up to make sure this project meets its deadline. It’s hard to harbor animosity toward your spouse when you’re just as involved as they are with the business. This isn’t a green light for you to do nothing but “work” together, but it is saying you should be open to QT time looking a little different than normal.

Don’t try to change them

Trust me, this won’t work. Entrepreneurship is not a phase. They’re not going to wake up different one day. If you try to change us, it’s going to breed dissatisfaction and we’ll probably end up leaving you. I surely hope this isn’t the case but it’s a reality. We love to try new things and look at different options. If your goal is to get us to be okay with a 9-5 job, that’s a long road you’re choosing to walk down that doesn’t get pretty in the end.

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Joshua Dillard

Writing since July 2016 · 1 story contributed