Yo momma jokes are a cornerstone of modern comedy and roast culture, offering a wide variety of entrants which have stood the test of time. Since the early 20th century or so, kids on playgrounds across America have been hurling thinly-veiled insults at one another shrouded under the guise of the “Yo Momma” pretext, often focussing on weight, height, age, mental faculties, or general competency. These jokes have become so ubiquitous that they’ve taken on their own genre of sorts, leaving droves of people to exchange yo momma jokes like pieces of social currency on playgrounds and group chats around the world. Many yo momma jokes can be not only cruel, but quite vulgar as well, making them unsuitable for use in front of teachers or amidst the general public.
Luckily, we’ve got you covered, with a comprehensive list of dozens of laugh-out-loud jokes sure to bring you from ribbing recipient to roast-master general. Just remember to utilize these verbal jabs with caution, as many people consider talk about their mother to be grounds for a real fight. With any luck, the following yo momma classics will provide just enough social lubricant to get a hearty laugh out of everyone who hears them, without ever crossing a line into offensive territory. Without any further preamble, here are 70 of the best yo momma jokes that are completely clean… unlike yo dirty, elderly momma.
Yo Momma Is So Old…
Yo momma’s so old her social security number is 001.
Yo momma is so old, she was a waitress at the Last Supper.
Yo momma has an autographed bible. She sat behind Jesus in math class. Her textbooks were chiseled into stone tablets!
Yo momma’s so old, her favorite food is primordial soup!
When yo momma was a child, rainbows were still in black and white.
Yo momma is so old she took her driving test on a dinosaur. When she saw Jurassic Park she said it brought back memories. She wanted to sue The Flintstones for residuals!
Yo momma knew the Burger King when he was still a prince.
Yo momma’s so old she used to babysit for half of congress.
Yo mama so old, her birth certificate is in Roman numerals.
Yo mama so old, her first pet was a dinosaur.
Yo mama so old, she babysat Yoda.
Yo mama so old, her favorite song was the sound of rocks banging together.
Yo mama so old, her memories are in black and white.
Yo mama so old, she was friends with the Flintstones.
Yo mama so old, she has a signed yearbook from Moses.
Yo mama so old, she has an autographed copy of the Ten Commandments.
Yo momma’s so old she goes to archeological digs and calls them family reunions.
Yo momma’s so old, when she was a kid the Dead Sea wasn’t even sick yet.
Yo momma’s so old, she hikes the Appalachian Trail and says “I like what you’ve done with the place.”
When yo momma steps out of a museum, the alarm goes off.
Yo momma’s so old I told her to act her age and she died!
Yo Mama So Tall
Yo mama so tall, she can see tomorrow.
Yo mama so tall, she tripped in Michigan and hit her head in Florida
Yo mama so tall, she can high-five the sun.
Yo mama so tall, she tripped over a building and fell in another city.
Yo mama so tall, she can use the Empire State Building as a cane.
Yo mama so tall, airplanes need her permission to fly.
Yo mama so tall, she makes mountains look like hills.
Yo mama so tall, she steps on clouds to wipe her shoes.
Yo mama so tall, she uses skyscrapers as stepping stones.
Yo mama so tall, she can hand the stars to the sky.
Yo mama so tall, when she looks down, she sees the weather.
Yo Mama So Strict
Yo mama so strict, even her alarm clock doesn’t dare wake up late.
Yo mama so strict, she makes Siri say “ma’am.”
Yo mama so strict, she doesn’t let her phone go into “sleep” mode.
Yo mama so strict, she once grounded the ground.
Yo mama so strict, she has a rulebook for family movie night.
Yo mama so strict, even her shadow stays in line.
Yo mama so strict, she times herself brushing her teeth.
Yo mama so strict, she has a “no talking” policy for goldfish.
Yo mama so strict, the Wi-Fi password is a 20-page essay on discipline.
Yo mama so strict, even the kitchen timer follows her rules.
Yo momma’s so strict, she wants you home before, during, and after dark.
Yo momma’s so strict, she enforced a curfew for the entire neighborhood.
Yo Mama So Curious
Yo mama so curious, even her questions have follow-up questions.
Yo mama so curious, she asked Siri for Siri’s life story.
Yo mama so curious, even Wikipedia takes notes from her.
Yo mama so curious, she watched a documentary on documentaries.
Yo mama so curious, she once tried to Google Google.
Yo Mama So Scary
Yo mama so scary, even ghosts have a nightlight when she’s around.
Yo mama so scary, when she looks in the mirror, her reflection runs away!
Yo mama so scary, zombies run from her!
Yo mama so scary, her shadow won’t even follow her.
Yo mama so scary, her smile gives skeletons goosebumps.
Yo mama so scary, the boogeyman checks under his bed for her.
Yo mama so scary, when she walked past a haunted house, it became a museum.
Yo mama so scary, the Grim Reaper calls in sick when she’s near.
Yo mama so scary, vampires keep garlic in their pockets just in case.
Yo mama so scary, horror movies ask her for advice.
Yo momma’s so scary she made One Direction go the other direction.
Yo momma’s so mean, her birth certificate is an apology letter.
And a Few Extra Jokes About Yo Momma…
Yo momma is so literal I told her her dinner was on the house and she got a ladder.
Yo momma’s so clumsy, she tripped over a wireless network.
Yo momma showed up late to her stay-at-home job. Her house is so nasty she has to wipe her feet to go outside!
Yo momma’s cooking is so nasty the flies reported her kitchen to the health department.
Yo momma is such a bad cook, it takes her over an hour to make minute rice.
Yo momma’s bag is so cluttered it’s like the inside of a dollar store in there.
Yo mama’s breath is so bad, she needs prescription-strength Tic-Tacs.
Yo mama’s breath is so bad, her toothbrush prays every night.
