I remember locking myself away for hours in my father’s childhood room. It was a 90s kid’s dream. Like me, my father loves music. His room was filled with hundreds of cassette tapes and a boombox that the 70’s kids carried on their shoulder. I would lie in the middle of the floor with my feet in the air listening to old school R&B. Occasionally I’d get up to retrieve a new tape. It was a tedious process, constantly having to rewind back to my favorite song, stopping too soon or too late, never right at the start of the song.  

In that room, I fell in love with the sounds of Toni Braxton, Mariah Carey, and The Isley Brothers, but the cassette tape I adored the most was enclosed by a red cover with white wording, and three women who blended with the background. It catered to each of their personality types. Personalities most women share, but sometimes are hesitant to display. “Crazy, Sexy, Cool” came out during a time when women suffered through heartbreak like “ladies”. In their music, they sounded helpless, lost, or afraid to find a new love. As I flip in and out of relationships, I’ve come to realize, I handle my relationships according to TLC’s Crazy Sexy Cool. I’m never one to make myself the victim of heartbreak, chase behind a man, or attach myself to someone who doesn’t want to be kept.  

There are so many different people out there, I cannot fathom being obsessed with one. In a world that is hell bent on making women martyrs in love, TLC paved the way for women to say, “Naah, I don’t want it.” and move on, instead of staying, complaining, and crying about it. They created a narrative that showed women there is nothing wrong with getting even and making decisions in their best interests and desires.

The five songs I am going to list basically depict my dating cycle and probably many other women’s…

Kick Your Game

I have a right to be choosy. There is no such thing as friend zone to me. If you Kick your game right and “come with something more clever than just your name,” then you will be the one who is chosen. Your characteristics have to be more than good they have to be appeal to me. You have to sell yourself to be chosen.  

Diggin on You

Finally, you got me to notice you and even want you. “I must admit to you, when I heard the lines you threw although it usually turns me off, but this time you have turned me on.” Out of the guys I curved and tossed to the supposed friend zone, you made it out of the trenches, and I’m going to let you know it.  

If I was Your girlfriend

Around this time, it’s about that time. We know I’m officially “Diggin on You”, so what’s next? I imagine myself being yours.  I’m trying to plant the idea that, “If I was your girlfriend I know I could treat you right, I could see what you see and hear what you hear and most of all I’d feel what you feel” in your head.

Take Our Time

To me this song is all about vulnerability. Looking beyond the words, it’s the melody. The beat Is calm and smooth, it reminds me of gliding. There aren’t any more rough patches. We are in love physically, spiritually, emotionally, and mentally. At this point it’s all about you and “only you can make me oh so easy.”


Creep marks the end of the honeymoon period, “The 23rd of loneliness and we don’t talk like we used to do. Now It seems pretty strange but I’m not buggin…” By this time, you are trippin. If you aren’t cheating, you’re doing something sneaky. It shows in your actions and the disorganization of your normal routine. The attention decreases. Instead of nagging and whining about it, I see that my needs are met, even if it’s not with you.  


This is the fed up stage. I’m ready to go. “Just as quick as I get in it I’ll drop em in a minute.” I do not believe in overstaying my welcome. The moment a person starts treating me as if they do not care if I go or stay I implement the “erase, replace, embrace, new face.” method.