Erica Buddington told a riveting Twitter story about a friend who experienced domestic abuse that has shaken many to their core in the wake of Kelis' recent interview revealing that former spouse Nas was abusive during their marriage.
The couple married in 2005 and has been considered hip-hop royalty and relationship goals by many. However, there were a lot of dark times, Kelis told The Hollywood Unlocked.
"We had really intense highs and really intense lows," she continued. "It was never normal. An intense high would be when money was rolling in. We were young. But I was 22 when I met him. I was a baby. We were drinking too much, smoking too much. We were too much. We were spending too much. We were balling too much. We were living too hard. So when that comes down, it goes really low. There’s no balance, there’s no normalcy."
They would fight when the Queens rapper drank too much, she said, adding there was mental abuse, too.
"It was really dark. A lot of drinking. A lot of mental and physical abuse and it got to the point where if I wasn’t pregnant, I might have stayed with him. I really did love him. We were married — we weren’t dating, we were married, this was my person," she explained.
For Buddington, Kelis' story was all too familiar. After men flooded her inbox stating that "we should hear both sides," the educator wrote about a time when a college classmate approached her seeking an escape from an abusive partner.
When I was in college a young woman I had class with but barely spoke to approached me in the library while I was studying. She said, “Hi.” I said, “Hi.” & then she just stared at me. My empath was on strong…I immediately felt something was wrong. I asked, “Can I help you?”
— Erica Buddington (@ericabuddington) April 26, 2018
Her stuttering evolved into tears. She said she couldn’t go back to her apartment because she lived with her boyfriend and he was abusing her. She said, “You look like someone that can help. I watch you. You care about people and you aren’t judgemental.”
— Erica Buddington (@ericabuddington) April 26, 2018
She was right. Offered her my extra bedroom and I immediately tapped into my resources, calling mentors and my professors. My plan was to get her out and keep her safe. We decided that she wouldn’t go to class that week. Her boyfriend called every minute, he left crazy messages.
— Erica Buddington (@ericabuddington) April 26, 2018
He called her friends, family, her job, and even tried find my iPhone because on our way to the supermarket one morning the alert went off. Good thing we were in the middle of the highway. We shut it off ASAP. He was relentless. About 4 days later, my leasing office calls…
— Erica Buddington (@ericabuddington) April 26, 2018
They said a man had been banging on the door of my old apartment. I changed to a 2 bedroom that summer because I wanted office space. The new residents told him I wasn’t there and he pushed past them and searched the whole space. He ran before police arrived.
— Erica Buddington (@ericabuddington) April 26, 2018
He ran before police arrived but the police discovered that he’d found my old address because he had a friend that worked at the Western Union nearby. My parents used to send me money there. He found my address by stopping by his friends job and using the system.
— Erica Buddington (@ericabuddington) April 26, 2018
& how did he find me? He saw us in the library together that day. He’s been following her on campus. Finally I told her that she needed to call the police and let them know what was going on. When we did….they asked her for ID, told us to sit tight, and went back to the car.
— Erica Buddington (@ericabuddington) April 26, 2018
She was told there was a warrant out for her arrest for several traffic violations she had on her car from that past weekend. We were in shock. She hadn’t had her car since she’d been staying with me. The cop then showed us a picture of her running into a sign and reversing.
— Erica Buddington (@ericabuddington) April 26, 2018
She goes on writing that the woman was not her friend. Police took her in and her boyfriend bailed her out. After that incident, the two women grew apart.
It would take nearly six years for Buddington to hear anything about her whereabouts again. The woman apparently had married her boyfriend despite the abuse because of economic dependency.
“He’s military. He’s got a gun in the house. They have two kids. He got her a job at his best friend’s firm…she never graduated…he didn’t allow her to. His name is on the house, the car, her accounts—-everything. She’s not going to leave.”
— Erica Buddington (@ericabuddington) April 26, 2018
Intentional. Surrounded by people that praised him, that saw him as a good family man that loved her, supported her, helped her in her career. Perspective is everything. I saw the bruises all over her arms and legs. I saw the slash on her neck.
— Erica Buddington (@ericabuddington) April 26, 2018
In the case of Nas, many consider him one the greatest rappers alive. Fans have put him on a pedestal while demonizing Kelis by calling her "crazy" or a "gold digger" — completely disregarding her recollection of events.
She went on to explain that it's dangerous to ignore women who call attention to abuse.
But if you ask our classmates about it they’ll be shocked. They’ll say, “Whoa really?! Nahhhh, not him. I need to hear both sides.” Sound familiar?
— Erica Buddington (@ericabuddington) April 26, 2018
