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Posted under: Trending News

Young Trump Staffers In Their Feelings Because No One Wants To Touch Them

D.C. quotin' Big Sean: 'I Don't F**k With You'

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In the age of Tinder and late nights at work, it can be hard to find a date, especially in a busy city. For Trump staffers, the tale is a little different. In an interview with Politico Magazine, young Trump aides admit going to bars and looking for love can be a little awkward in a city where only four percent of residents voted for their leader. 

With the words “F**k Trump” sprawled across all corners of D.C., Trump staffers have mostly condensed themselves to the Wharf, a recently renovated, gentrified and upscale area in D.C. with apartment towers where rent can be as high as $3,000 per month for a single bedroom, Politico reported. 

Despite the proximity and available wingmen, some of the staffers admitted to scapegoating awkward bar conversations by hiding their work. 

“I told people I was an auditor down on Wall Street, and people just stopped asking questions after that,” one anonymous staffer said. 

Another tried her hand at Tinder and was downtrodden when faced with a string of “Trump supporters swipe left” captions in her potential love interests’ bios. 

“You do the small talk thing, and you have a very good conversation, and then they might say, ‘You didn’t vote for Trump, right?’” another staffer shared. “As soon as I say, ‘Of course I did,’ it just devolves into all-caps ‘HOW COULD YOU BE SUCH A RACIST AND A BIGOT?’ And, ‘You’re going to take away your own birth control.’”

But hiding one's identity can only get you so far. Social media stalking is real, and once someone has a name and a picture, that’s all they need. 

“I literally got the other day, ‘Thanks but no thanks. Just Googled you and it said you were a mouthpiece for the Trump administration. Go f**k yourself,’” one aide said. 

The solution, it seems, is for some in-house relationships. Not to the Rudy Giuliani level, of course (he married his cousin), but among the staffers themselves. Love is throughout the halls, including that of Giovanna Coia and John Pence. Coia is a White House press assistant and Kellyanne Conway’s cousin, and Pence is a senior adviser on Trump’s reelection campaign and Mike Pence’s nephew. 

Trump, nepotism and love seem to all go together. 

Despite these shortcomings, the team is happy to be in D.C. and among their people. Though romance may not be in the air, they haven’t been left entirely devoid of catcalls, one campaign staffer who moved to Washington said:

“If you’re wearing a Trump jacket in New York, you’re going to get catcalls and stuff like that.”

Hey, at least someone is checking for you. 

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