Allergy season — aka the armageddon — is upon us. Those with crippling puffy eyes and nasal spray permanently attached to your person, I salute you. There are just some struggles that only people with allergies will understand.
Here are 11 REAL meanings of spring for us with sniffly noses and runny eyes:
1. Hiking = blatant disrespect for our friendship
Literally everything in the so called ‘great outdoors’ is my worst nightmare. If you ask me to hike with you I can only assume (for multiple reasons) that you want to drag me to my death.
2. Flowers = long distance lovers
*desperately sings* “Goodbye my almost lover, goodbye my hopeless dream.”
3. Pollen alert = the end of days
Your car, covered in a blanket of yellow and sprinkled with fallen blossoms, officially becomes a daily death trap.
4. Parks = purgatory
While everyone else is running around having the time of their life, you sit on a bench looking out in misery like this:
5. Allergy meds = a fatal L to your bank account
If you want something that’s going to make you even a slightly functional human during the day, you’ve got to be willing to give up the big buck$.
6. Eye drops = #BlessUp
These are mini saviors in a bottle. Allergy season got you feelin’ some type of way, always ready for #AnotherOne.
7. Benedryl = the ultimate slip
Pop two of these and you’ll find yourself waking up on the couch like:
8. Makeup = mission impossible
Covergirl and a classic case of allergy eyes simply do not mix.
9. Mid-day naps = a necessary evil
Sometimes it’s the only way to recharge your pollen-polluted soul.
10. Indoors = sacred sanctuary
Home is a sweet safe haven.
11. Spring = your best frenemy
Let’s face it, spring is absolutely undeniably beautiful (I was even ironically born in May). Once you get over its fatal flaws, assuring your allergy pack is never too far away, you can finally appreciate the well-deserved break from winter we’ve all been looking forward to.