2018 is the year of new beginnings, something Mary J. Blige knows all too well.
In January alone, she received a Hollywood star on her birthday and is now a double Oscar nominee for her role as Florence Jackson in Mudbound and for contributing to the original song. These accomplishments call for a celebratory dance! Another thing that our auntie does in her own way so well (don't debate us!)
Mary J.'s dancing resonates with me because I am also a black person who isn't skilled in the art of dance. But watching clips of her gives me the confidence to not let my lack of rhythm define me. No matter the occasion, we shall dance. But how? Have no fear, our aunt Mary J. Blige is here to save the day. Here are 11 dances that will have you looking fresh at the function.
1. "The introduction"
Also known as the MJB signature, this serves as a warmup and is perfect for when you first arrive.
2. "The robotic-milly rock"
Mary J Blige v Diddy dance battle (2016) pic.twitter.com/iieROl6deT
— Joey (@JoeyMenson) May 21, 2016
A stiff version of the popular dance move. Pull this step off with ease so you can pop off on any block.
3. "The MJB stomp"
MARY J BLIGE IS SO FUCKING EXTRA ????????????????????????????????????…. I CANT pic.twitter.com/5hUENNGmQp — FemaleMoneyMaknMitch (@vivalagorg) June 19, 2015
Whether someone just tried your patience or you find yourself in a spat with your significant other, fake them out with this move so they know you mean business.
4. "The MJB super-stomp"
Same format as the MJB stomp, only on repeat with force.
5. "The stage owner"
Me when I dance along to Beyonce! https://t.co/O55f7mbbgEhttps://t.co/nQrFZbRGoq
— Perez (@ThePerezHilton) May 23, 2016
This is the ideal dance move for when you are giving a crowded performance. Make sure to touch every piece of that stage and own it. Extra points if you add a spin or two.
6. "The MJB swim kick"
CRYING RT @thefentybarb Son.. Nobody can see Mary J. Blige on the dance floor. ???? pic.twitter.com/Qaj7WIevi1 — Jeremiah Trotter (@Jeremiah_337) January 30, 2016
This is a combination move from numbers 1-3 on this list and will not work well if you miss a move. This signature step is defined by floating arms, several leg kicks, and perfect if you're looking for crowd interaction. Caution: do not try this move in water. Someone will think you're drowning.
7. "Hit dat Mary"
Mary was hip before y'all saw Cam Newton and Odell Beckham Jr. doing this on Monday Night football. Use this move before sliding into a mean hit dem folks.
8. "The classic Mary two step"
Similar to "the robotic-milly rock", this move is only to be used between sets. NEVER let your audience believe you've ran out of moves.
9. "The simplifier"
An emergency step for when you're trying to get through the workday and blend in with co-workers so they don't ask you any Trump or racial questions. This move can also be called the "I'm just here so I don't get fined."
10. "The Mary cat daddy"
For when the DJ plays a song that you aren't sure which move to use but you're just happy to be in the function. It was a long week and you deserve, okay?
11. "The hype man/woman"
Execute this seated move when you need a quick break. You're exhausted but need to keep your friends hype. Everybody eats!
12. "The bounce"
This closing number has freeform arm action and is all about the legs. Similar to the two-step but with added bounce.
So now that you know all of the moves, go be prosperous all 2018.
I want to know why isn't there a Mary J. Blige dance challenge? ???????? I'm about to start one. pic.twitter.com/ewbpJgmw2r
— Tonsil Tickler ☜ (@Captain_SaveAHo) May 21, 2016