I was 8 years old when I developed this irrational fear of the dark. I don’t remember anything traumatizing happening to me that made me so afraid. Maybe it was just the idea of not knowing what was in the darkness, if anything. My night light was taken away when I was 8, because as my parents put it—I was a big girl. Fast forward 20-years later and I’m still hesitant to sleep in pitch blackness. I sometimes still need something on in the background, like a tv or even my Himalayan salt lamp to help ease my anxiety of the dark.

Although my fear of the dark may seem irrational, it is the fear of the what may be lurking in the dark that gives me the most angst. The fear of the unexpected. I realized that my small fear of the dark played a larger psychological role in my day-to-day. Here I am at 28, in an organization that I’m not the fondest of. Doing work that doesn’t feed my spirit or even my creativity. But why after being here for 2 years don’t I just quit? The fear of the unexpected comes to mind. If I leave my current comfort zone, where would I go? Would I be good enough to step out and chase the dreams and goals that fuel my spirit? Would I fail?

So many self-doubting questions have held me back from pursuing dream, so here’s how I’m ending my ‘fear of the dark’.

Stop overthinking.

Our minds really can play tricks on us. The first step I’ve taken is to stop overthinking. I’ve literally talked myself out of opportunities because my mind was playing a game of self-sabotage. “They’ll never publish that,” “It’s not even that good,” “Would anyone even read this?” We tend to be the hardest on ourselves. I’ve noticed that when I’m in my office and an amazing idea comes to mind, a part of me will try to blow it off as being mediocre. The fear of the unexpected will have you trying to discredit your own potential and greatness. STOP THAT NOW!

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Take the chance.

Everyone’s heard the saying of a breakthrough happening once you step outside out of your comfort zone. But, how many of us have actually stepped out of our comfort zone?  Did you apply for the job that you’re interested in, but not as qualified for? Did you shoot your shot at the person you’ve been eyeing for weeks now? Did you gain the courage to ask your boss for the promotion that’s been long overdue? As much as we want to grow and evolve, we won’t unless we take that chance.

  

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 Talk to someone.

Whether it be your peers or a professional. Don’t try to bottle up your anxiety or fear, it will only result in more stress and more anxiety. There is nothing wrong with asking for help and seeking advice from people in your close circle or even a therapist. Your peers may help you understand what’s really going on. Speak up for yourself and try to get to the root of what's been holding you back. 

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Face it head-on.

For the past few weeks I’ve been sleeping with no TV and no salt lamp. I’m getting over my irrational fear by actually submerging myself into that which I’m afraid of. This may not be the case for every fear. I’m not saying that if you’re afraid of spiders, go in a room filled with spiders. My point is if you’re afraid your boss will reject your request for a promotion or raise; ask for it anyway. If you think you may not be as qualified for the position you want, apply anyway. If you have your eye set out on a crush, tell them how you feel. You'll never make progress or know what the outcome will be if you don't try to overcome the fear. 

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In my case I’ve realized that the unexpected does happen and will happen; and instead of sinking into my fear, I’m rising to it. I guess you can say I’m still afraid of the dark in a sense, but I’m not letting my irrational fear hold me back anymore.  I’m focusing on the now, which has left me with less anxiety for the future.

American Novelist E.L. Doctorow Said:

“Life is like driving a car at night. You can see only as far as your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way.' You don't have to see where you're going, you don't have to see your destination or everything you will pass along the way. You just have to see two or three feet ahead of you.”

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