It's sad to say, but at times, we now have more interaction via social media than we do face-to-face. So the way in which we choose to handle conflicts on Facebook or Twitter, if we decide to at all, can be the difference between keeping your mental health in check, or going toe-to-toe with a racist in the comment section over something that is not worth arguing over.
Though cowards have always existed and people have always been unnecessarily opinionated, social media has offered these same types of people the chance to hide behind keyboards, attempting to discredit our oppressions, strip us of our right to feel anger and madly disrespecting our very being.
We refer to these people as "trolls."
These are the same people who comment on Beyoncé's maternity photos, saying she was doing "too much." They complain that Dear White People is racist (threatening to cancel their Netflix accounts) and they are the same white people you once thought were your friends, but showed their true colors when they argued with you underneath your status, claiming that you should just shut up and respect the fact that Trump is the president, now.
As a black person, to see men and women, and even children, who look like you being beaten and murdered by white police officers on camera, only to read the despicable posts and comments of some of your white "friends," arguing that maybe they deserved it, is not only demeaning, but more harmful than you may think.
Racism breeds trauma, and though they may not consider this, your mental health must be taken into account every time you log into your profile. You can't get worked up every time Billy Bob or Becky doesn't agree with you or takes the time out of their busy schedules of reaping the benefits of white privilege to explain why your pain or unrest is "not that serious".
Is it worth it to go in on Susan viaTwitter? Will it really make you feel better, or will it only last a moment until the next person trolls you?
We've got some better solutions for your self-care as a black person who encounters racist social media trolls. Save your energy for fighting the good fight, cause black America needs you at your best.
1. Don’t feel the need to debate everything in the comment section
You're scrolling, minding your own business. You've been a member of Facebook since 2010, so you know that some unpopular opinion is bound to pop up in the comments of a post by or about someone black. That user is using racial slurs and derogatory language to get a rise out of anybody with brown skin. Or they pull out one of our favorites, "I don't see color" or "Why does everything have to be about race?"
The best thing you can do in that situation: keep scrolling.
2. Stay out of the comment section
Even if you were to argue with Becky in the comments for hours on end, what would be the point? Who's to say she would ever come to terms with you or understand your experience as a black person? What if she could understand, but felt threatened by your reply so decided clap back at you?
It'd be like talking to a brick wall. So to prevent yourself from becoming irritated by a comment that was intended for just that, hide the comments or pretend like it doesn't exist.
3. Unfriend and/or block “friends” whose views contradict your wellbeing or safety
My days of being on the high school debate team are over. I no longer feel the need to explain everything to everybody, especially white people whose beliefs devalue my existence and freedom.
If you're like me, you probably have hundreds of people on your friend list who you haven't seen since the 10th grade or haven't heard from in years. I'd rather have little to no followers on social media than followers who stress me out.
Let's be honest, you won't miss them anyway.
4. Be controversial, but truthful in your posts
Reclaim your time. Speak up against injustice. People need to hear your voice, not about what you ate for lunch. Be truthful in your posts. You're doing no one any justice by keeping quiet about things that affect you or the people around you. Social media is a platform, so use it for good.
Besides, it can be therapeutic to release what has been burdening you.
5. Take a break from social media
Drown out the noise.
Bottom line: too much of anything can be toxic. Too much negative input regarding race on social media can be futile. There is a special kind of liberation to disconnecting for a moment. Make yourself a priority and find tangible, deeper ways to connect with people and restore mentally and emotionally, than depending on social media.
If it's just for a day or two, a week or forever, do it for the right reasons and you'll be happy that you did.
While your initial urge may be to curse that person out in ALL CAPS or become frustrated with how disconnected or ignorant they may be, jeopardizing your inner-peace should never be an option.
When the world has proven itself to be against you, do yourself a favor and save yourself first.