Comedian Amber Ruffin didn't hold back on Tuesday when she slammed Texas' recent abortion restrictions. Speaking up during her “Minute of Fury” segment on the latest episode of Late Night With Seth Meyers, Ruffin wondered if lawmakers have plans to regulate the rest of a woman's body.

“All I’m saying, if you’re in charge of one region of my body, what sense does that make?” she asked. “Just the uterus? At least take the whole bottom half. I want a federally funded pedicure. You can even pick the color, I can never decide anyway.”

The comedian continued her rant, asking Republicans if they can make her feel good about looking at her own feet.

“So just make them so I can wear sandals without feeling sad. Can you do that? Of course you can’t, you dumb f**ks,” she said. “So don’t take charge of the biggest decision I’ll ever make in my whole life when you can’t even get me a goddamn pedicure.”

At this rate, Ruffin also wonders if conservatives are interested in controlling her nutritional intake as well. 

"I'm lactose intolerant and I love ice cream, so every time I want to have Dairy Queen, tackle me. And you better be strong too because I love a Peanut Buster Parfait," she said. “Tell four-margaritas-in Amber that she can’t have a fifth — try and reason with her, I dare you.”

Perhaps Texas lawmakers may be interested in Ruffin's calorie intake as well.

"Good luck finding the candy I have hidden from my husband. He can't find it and he knows me," the 42-year-old said. "And if I have the poops, that's on you. You should have made sure I didn't eat that food I knew damn well was too old."

Now, are the legislatures also possibly interested in regulating women's hair?

"Be in charge of my nappy head of hair," Ruffin said. "Find my curl pattern. Talk me into or out of getting dreads every six months."


As Blavity previously reported, the latest Texas policy bans abortion after about six weeks into pregnancy. The law imposes punishments on abortion providers, people who seek abortions and those who drive people to receive an abortion. Those found guilty of breaking the law can face lawsuits and potentially pay damages of at least $10,000.