Four years ago, I had a discouraging conversation with my parents about the ever-so controversial subject of gay marriage. It started when my father confessed that he was "so glad that gay marriage was not made legal in the state of North Carolina." I quickly retorted with a "why not," followed by a firm, "I believe in it." I'll spare you the minutia of the rest of the conversation and sum up the details of the extended dialogue with:

They believed it was wrong and I called them ignorant. It's 2017 and look at who has the last laugh.

Nonetheless, because of my passionate openness to debate the issue (along with a few other controversial subjects also mentioned that day, including interracial dating, civil equality and religious pride), my stepmom proclaimed that I, "am of a generation that is weaker, but wiser." Now, the phrase, "a weaker but wiser generation," is said to have stemmed from biblical references (its exact origin is unknown). However, I discovered that this phrase is found nowhere in the bible. The current state of humanity has led some to speculate that we have entered into the last days, and begun the journey into perilous times. Our easy acceptance of ideals not of God is apparently raising doubts about the future. I was so shocked that two people who have raised me to think so freely, openly and independently were so opposed to a decision, that does not affect their daily lives, because socially, it is unnatural. It made me wonder…

If tomorrow I decided to spend the rest of my life in devotion with another man, would my parents care to even know? If the day after that, I decided to marry him, would my parents deny the union? If I decided that the only thing would make me happier was to have my parents at my wedding ceremony, would they come? Being raised in a baptist household in the South, these things tend to be an unfortunate reality.

It caused me to challenge the competency of the world we live in. You do not have to be in agreement with something, to be tolerant of it. Marriage is a symbol of one's commitment to another; the conjoining of two loves. Whether that be with the same-sex or different, it should not encompass the opinion of any else but the parties involved. However, the grim reality of things is that public opinion dictates the majority of social efforts. Thus creating the war between generations: those who are accepting of others, and those not so accepting of anything that obstructs the norm.

My generation opts to embrace change. We act impulsively, but intelligently, and in the process, stray away from traditional teachings to advance in an ever-evolving civilization. Instead of walking in the shoes of others, we choose to tread alongside them as guides and imprint our own footprints on a path designed for us to improve. Hitting closer to home, America's foundation was built on the capitalization of opportunity and the aspirations of what we can become. If the purpose has always been to cling to past traditions, what is the point of initiating new ones? If my generation is accused of being weaker but wiser, I think that an assessment should be initialized to evaluate the previous generation before us. If it is weaker that we've grown, it began with their influences:

1. Family – Representation is the key to its membership. Anything that is done baring the name of a particular family is deemed an automatic reflection on the group as a whole. If an individual that belongs to the family's actions go against the family's ethics, the person is shunned. Excommunicated from everyone except for the ones that continue to have faith—the ones that hope that he or she will adjust back into what the family expects. And the number one phrase that is overused the most is, "I don't understand why, but that's still my family, that's still my blood." Amazing.

2. Ethnicity – I'm BLACK and I'm PROUD, VIVA LA RAZA, I am AMERICAN TOO! We view propaganda like these on an everyday basis to prove how far a culture has progressed. We include events like The Civil Rights Movement of the '60s and The American Indian Movement of the '70s to extinguish the belief that minorities are inferior to the majority. We boast our accomplishments from coast-to-coast, building national egos until credit is given. We strengthen our unity in times of struggle to right traumatic injustices. And then we subject our offspring into thinking that the ethnicity ingrained underneath their pigment is the only one that matters. Once we explore different cultures and charter unknown territories it's a sign of resistance towards our ancestors. We suddenly become the wayward sons, but what's the phrase that will never get old? "He'll come back to us." Shocking.

3. Upbringing – "You weren't raised that way" or "I thought I taught you better than that" has been heard from a parent, guardian or mentor many times. It is theorized that a child learns everything he/she needs to know about surviving in life from the ages of one to five. Early on we learn to how to eat, how to walk and how to speak. Later on, we establish ways to effectively develop, like tying our shoes and dressing ourselves. Then we are taught how to look for potential dangers like crossing the street, not talking to strangers and calling for help. All things that are vital to our well being. But then, the older we get, the more our curious quest for personal knowledge increases. We detach from basic directions granted to us in early childhood, to more complex variations that excite us into adolescence, and eventually adulthood. We gather motives that benefit our ambitions, and then get criticized for not taking the route mapped out by the people who encouraged us to follow our own directions. How selfish. "But that's still my baby," said Mama.

4. Religion – In 1956, Dwight D. Eisenhower enacted a law that would change the nation instantly with one unique phrasing of words—"In God We Trust." Two years earlier, he fought to add "under God" into the Pledge of Allegiance to signify of how important the role of christianity played in the lives of Americans. 57 years later, christianity still remains the prominent religion in the lives of many, and the message is continuously passed down decade after decade. In the bible, Proverbs 22:6 states, "Train up a child up in the way he should go, and even when he is old he will not depart from it." But I don't think it was meant to condemn. As hard as it can be to believe that a religion as accepted as christianity could be viewed as cult-ish, it is (especially when its views are insisted to be followed subtly or forcefully). The moment someone wants to leave it to discover their own beliefs, it's blasphemy. And yet, "We'll keep him prayer, God will deal with it" never fails to leave the lips of those who do not take the time to understand why, but hope loyalty will trump uncertainty.

What is the meaning behind all this? It's to get to my fifth and final influence.

5. Generational – Over time, no matter how much things change, people have always found a way to tolerate it. Opening our minds to scenarios we may not understand, but can learn to live with for the sake of staying true to our "land of the free". Disagreements happen often, but we will not watch what we've all built go down in flames. We compromise because it's the right thing to do. We don't allow personal prejudices to consume each other's lives, even if we have to hide them. We are in a place of progression and those who are against it, will not last.

I hope that when I get married to a male, female or an androgynous transgender entity named Sloan, my parents will set aside their oppositions and toast to my prosperity, even if they don't agree with the decision. Hopefully taking the time to understand the meaning it has for me. Agreeing to my happiness, to my wisdom and leaving the weaknesses where they belong—in the perilous times from whence they came.

Move Forward.

Brandon J. Burke

Writing since June 2017 · 1 story contributed