Dearly Beloved,

My stepfather died when I was 10-years-old. I remember the string of people mourning his death. They imparted deep condolences and well wishes on the family for the duration of the funeral. He was gone. They were sad. It made sense. What did not seem logical, though, were the lies many bestowed on his character. "He was a good man." "He loved his family." "He had a heart of gold." His obituary made him seem noble when, in fact, he was selfish. At that tender age, even I knew he was a piece of shit. He was a liar, a thief, a junkie and a cheat. The Old English beer that reeked from his pores, and the dingy wife beater he often wore defined him best–and not just to me. And granted no one living is without flaw, but death does not change the narrative of reckless people’s lives; it just brings it to a full stop. So why we out here lying in these obituaries? When are we going to stop eulogizing trash people and start memorializing them in their truths?

XXXtentacion was violently killed Monday, June 18, while leaving a motorcycle dealership. No one needs to die such a tragic death, even if he lived by the sword. There was an outpour of condolences from his peers: Kanye West, J. Cole and Jidenna, who likened XXX to Malcolm X. Chances are most of them knew him existentially. Who did know XXX well was Geneva Ayala, an ex-girlfriend of several years brutally beaten by him, and perhaps a cellmate XXX claims he beat senselessly.

I'm not pro or anti-XXXtentacion. I did not know him, but here’s the thing: I am anti-people consecrating and exalting trash behavior in death. I am against the way people glorify rogue behavior and ignore victims' pain. I am against obituaries that transform musty miscreants into saints. Good, bad or indifferent, obituaries are historical and biographical documents that genuinely honor people’s lives and legacies. Like ole stepdad, XXX led the life of his choosing, and the living should acknowledge that. In the name of civic duty and in the spirit of mortuary justice, a proper obituary was due based on what we know of XXX's misdeeds and who he was in life. 

Jahseh Dwayne "XXXTentacion" Onfroy

Sunrise: January 23, 1998
Sunset: June 18, 2018

Obituary

Jahseh Dwayne Onfroy, affectionately known as “XXXTentacion” was born January 23, 1998, in Plantation, Florida, to Dwayne Ricardo and Cleopatra Bernard. His formative years were spent in Lauderhill, Florida, where his grandmother, Collette Jones, raised him and he attended Piper High School. XXX lived a rough life. He spent time at Sheridan House Family Ministries for troubled youth and was in and out of juvenile detention. XXX met and dated Geneva Alaya in 2016; their union brought forth a pregnancy.

XXX was a hard-working young man. He earned money as a rapper, becoming famous on SoundCloud, YouTube and Instagram, and he was known for his beef with Drake. However, it was his work for Caroline Records that made him rich and possibly more arrogant and aggressive than ever before. He wasn’t much of a caregiver. He appeared to give zero f**ks. He sat on a high horse and was violent toward innocent people. XXX also started s**t at concerts and in his relationships.

XXX showed dedication in all he pursued. XXX had a healthy bout of depression. He was also a passionate abuser whose threatening skills were unmatched. He took great pride in hurting his girlfriend who said he would choke her, press knives into her face and hold her head underwater. His expertise of harming her won him “F**kboy of the Year” praises across most social platforms.

XXX wasn't always a people person. He beat people — not only with his hands but with flair and excitement and firearms. He was a servant to himself. He was difficult. He made the possible impossible, and he did so with hate in his heart. It is unknown whether XXX accepted Christ as his savior. But he did love violence, and he probably loved his family–to know XXX is perhaps not to like him and possibly be afraid of him, as well. XXX had no regrets. He was a complicated young man, and he will be missed and remembered for the music he made and the hurt he caused.

XXX made his transition on Monday, June 18, 2018. He leaves to join the likes of Tupac, Charles Manson and Eazy E.

Death doesn’t sanctify the dead. Sometimes we must let sleeping dogs lie.