About four years ago, a fellow actor friend showed me a trailer for a satirical indie film called Dear White People and for me it was love at first sight. So I made it my business to see and support the film Dear White People in theaters when it came out months later.

I saw myself in Sam (played by Tessa Thompson), the biracial hero of the film being that I’m also biracial, and how I experienced my own issues growing up with my identity being half black and half white. I understood Lionel (played by Tyler James Williams) and his feelings of displacement and at times feeling like an outcast with people you share a racial identity with, as well as others. I was connected to Coco (played by Teyonah Parris) as we both shared insecurities about skin color and in some instances, not feeling that that skin was good enough. I related to Reggie (played by Marque Richardson) and his sort of Malcolm X “by any means necessary” approach to attempt to change things for the betterment of him and people just like him. Basically, I really just fell in love with the film’s message, the writing, the cinematography, the characters and the acting, the narrative, and the perspective. I hadn’t loved a film in that way in a long time. The film Dear White People reminded me why I was so obsessed with acting and filmmaking in the first place –a love I hadn’t even realized I lost sight of.

Early last year, I saw on social media that a TV series of Dear White People would be making its way to Netflix and I was instantly overzealous and eagerly anticipating the release so that I could indulge in a gluttonous Netflix and chill session by binge watching it. By that time I had already watched the movie again on Hulu and three times on Netflix. Then as only God himself would have it, one morning later in the year I received an audition to Guest-Star on the TV series Dear White People and my eyes widened like a corner hooker when a Bentley pulls up. The role was for Karen AKA “Big Sister Too Fabulous” president of Winchester University’s Alpha Delta Rho sorority, and the episode frenemy of Sam and Coco. I read the script and said to myself, “Oh she’s the villain? This shit is mine.”

I went to the audition that same evening around 5 pm. I walked in like I was born Karen and not Crystal-Lee, killed my audition and knew I killed it.

Weeks later, I got the call that I got the part and I just screamed, danced and cussed all the joyous curse words that my mom didn’t teach me all over my apartment in the valley. I wanted so badly to work on this project that I was a fanatic about. And I had to be ready to do so because I was confirmed to perform, be professional and be on time to set in less than 12 hours from learning I was booked!

The next morning, I reported to set and the make-up team painted my face beautifully and the hair team wrangled my newly “transitioning hair” (deviating from using relaxers) to a T. I was ready for my first day at Winchester University!

After some filming where I channeled my inner mean girl portraying “Big Sister Too Fabulous” BKA Karen in the audition scene that earned me the part, I was walking toward my trailer (to probably dance and cuss more curse words of joy) when I caught eyes with a somewhat familiar face that I walked past. I literally paused, turned around and approached the person.

He held out his hand for me to shake and simultaneously he said, “Hi, I’m Justin.”

It clicked instantly. I knew he was “Justin” as in “Justin Simien” the creator of Dear White People!

“Omg hey I’m Crystal-Lee!” I said.

“We loved your audition,” he told me.

I couldn’t help but think, “Pause. Did he just say he was a fan of mine for the five minutes it took him to watch my audition?” I didn’t know who he meant by “we,” but all my selective hearing got was that he said he liked, no, excuse me, loved something that I did. Um, life made.

I think what set me apart from other actresses at the audition was that I was a fan of the film Dear White People. A huge fan, actually. And honestly, if the audition that day was for the role of “Fire Hydrant” I was going to get it. Viscerally, I just understood what it was about. Dear White People was just in me, so to speak.

Photo: Crystal-Lee Naomi and Justin Simien

I had another scene that day to shoot and I was nervous as hell about it. Keeping in mind that I didn’t have much time to prepare, I asked Antoinette Robertson (Coco) to help me and she must have picked up on my nervous energy because although she didn’t have to whatsoever, she privately took me aside, and spent about 15 minutes helping me with the scene. Not only was this girl a tremendous talent and gorgeous, but she was also helpful and incredibly comforting in a way that I could not have expected.

Photo: Brandon P. Bell, Crystal-Lee Naomi and Antoinette Robertson

Then there are some people in life who you are just drawn to and effortlessly get along with. Tina Mabry, the director of my episode on Dear White People was that person on set for me. She’s incredibly sweet and helpful. Directors have to be visionaries, creative, and leaders. She definitely is all of those things, humble, fun, and just an all around good and caring person.

When I was wrapped (officially finished filming all footage), I was sort of being pushed off the set. But I had a gut feeling to make it my business to say good-bye to the people I had connected with so I insisted on staying until I had done so. I said my goodbyes to everyone I could find and eventually I found Tina and just said a little goodbye to her expecting nothing because I kept in mind that people on set, especially decision makers like her, the director, are just very busy. She opened her arms and came in for what turned out to be one of the most sincere hugs of my life, and just before we let go, she said, “This is not our last time working together.” 

Can you say cloud nine?

It was nothing short of incredible to work with fellow creatives who inspired, encouraged, and stimulated me artistically. It’s hands down the icing on the cake when it comes to chasing this dream of mine. I’ve been blessed to have many great experiences on different sets but I had the absolute best and one of my most meaningful experiences on the set of the TV series Dear White People. It was that feeling you get in your body during the holidays when you’re talking, eating, and laughing with your family at the dinner table. I was on an absolute high for my entire time working with all the talented people who make that show possible, truly.

I thought I was just going to enjoy viewing the series Dear White People from my Netflix account like everybody else. I didn’t even think about potentially acting in an episode of it! Seriously, how often does an actor get to be on a show adapted from a film that they were a huge fan of some years prior?

As I go on and experience more of the inevitable successes, as well as failures that come along with being an actress, I’ll keep my memories from my time on set of Dear White People with me. It was overwhelmingly humbling and it was a beautiful reminder of what I love about acting that makes all of the years of persevering through adversity, hard work, and sacrifices absolutely worth it.

I live for this shit.

@crystalleenaomi