Kim Fields etched herself into the hearts of fans as Tootie on Facts of Life before she gave us bougie friend vibes as and Régine Hunter on Living Single. Between Dancing with the Stars and The Real Housewives of Atlanta, Fields allowed fans to see the woman she became all while balancing home and a career of longevity. She now returns to the world of sitcoms as Regina Upshaw in Netflix’s The Upshaws

Fields recently sat down with Bustle‘s Year at 28 while promoting The Upshaws. She talked about the cancellation of Living Single and the impact it had on her. At the time, she was going through marital issues while all of this was happening.

“I wasn’t angry at God, but I was severely disappointed,” she said. “I remember thinking, ‘What are y’all doing up there with me? I felt like I planted tomatoes and I got telephone poles in my vineyard. It felt so foreign.”

Fields went on to further explain what year 28 did for her. “My life at that moment was not what you would expect. I left Living Single a few episodes shy of completing the final season because the work, the process, and everything else didn’t feel the same for me. I was at that point either divorced, or about to be divorced. I started a production company, and we had all these great projects but no deals.”

She continued, “I went through a stage where I completely shut down. I had these blackout drapes in my house, and I closed the drapes and stayed in the bed for about two weeks, maybe longer. I kept running down my resume to God: I’m a tither, I’m a worshiper, I’m faithful, I’m a good person, I was a good kid — all the things that should not equal me being here. I didn’t claim depression, but if I’m being real with myself, I’m sure there was a little bit of that there.”

Since those days, she has gone on to direct several television shows and continues to star in many series and films. With a storied career that stretches over decades, Fields has a different perspective on life.

“I’ve not really made that my goal. Not letting life kick my ass on a consistent basis — that part, I think I have figured some of it out. The lens that I look through now comes from a mindful place, and a place of leaning into whatever the moment is for me at this stage. You know how in The Avengers when Hulk grabs Loki and flips him around? I’m not going to be Loki and life is not going to be Hulk. Life is not going to ever beat the sh*t out of Kim Fields.”

The Upshaws is streaming now on Netflix.