Beautiful, wealthy, famous – these are the adjectives most frequently associated with Gabrielle Union-Wade. For her millions of followers on Instagram and Snapchat, the actress has come to exemplify fitness, relationship, and career goals. What we didn't see beneath the glow of all this black girl magic, is the painful struggle she has endured over the past few years.

In her new book, We’re Going to Need More Wine, the actress revealed that she has gone through several miscarriages in an attempt to have a baby with her husband, Dwayne Wade. In her new book, the 44-year-old actress reveals that she has had "eight or nine miscarriages" saying, "For three years, my body has been a prisoner of trying to get pregnant — I’ve either been about to go into an IVF cycle, in the middle of an IVF cycle, or coming out of an IVF cycle.” 

In an interview with People, the Being Mary Jane star said that her maternal instincts were triggered after getting married in 2014. “I never wanted kids,” she said. “Then I became a stepmom, and there was no place I’d rather be than with them.” After experiencing the joy of raising three boys with her 35-year-old husband, she and Dwayne decided to try and conceive a child together. Those attempts have been fraught with challenges – physically, emotionally, and socially. “For so many women, and not just women in the spotlight, people feel very entitled to know, ‘Do you want kids?'” she says. “A lot of people, especially people that have fertility issues, just say ‘no’ because that’s a lot easier than being honest about whatever is actually going on. People mean so well, but they have no idea the harm or frustration it can cause.” Union hopes that sharing her story will help to change this approach.

Despite enduring three years of failed IVF cycles and the constant bloating and hormonal challenges that have resulted, Union writes that she and her husband “remain bursting with love and ready to do anything to meet the child we’ve both dreamed of.” 

We’re Going to Need More Wine, is due out on October 17. Are you copping it?