Modern-day women are faced with a multitude of things to work through or consider on a daily basis just to feel safe and appreciated. There is work, career goals, family and, oh yeah, how to get, manage or keep a solid relationship with a man.
Social media has made it even more difficult to feel normal and attract the right people in your life for the right reasons. And perhaps these are some of the reasons why I feel the need to apologize.
As you look to progress to a place of wholeness and serenity, I am hopeful to assist with the healing that should come from a man. I take the position and the responsibility of apologizing to every woman who can receive it.
With that I give you a few reasons why:
1. Toxic Masculinity
Although modern times have changed the dynamics (with women empowerment being more widespread), it has not diminished the atmosphere of male privilege and toxic masculinity. Men still hold onto a certain dominant disposition that keeps them feeling like they are in control and places women’s aspirations and choices second to their own.
2. Abuse and Neglect
Many women are still carrying heavy loads of disappointment due to abuse and neglect at the hands of the men in their lives. And most of those men have never stopped to ask if the women are OK or even considered apologizing for their actions. Unfortunately, this creates a more difficult pathway for women to progress towards self-acceptance and self-love while being supported.
3. The Lack of Traditional Values
This third reason may be more selfish. If we don’t mend these broken directives and reset the representation of what a good man looks like, then women will continue to move further from the center of traditional values, leaving this new generation of men concerned about being emasculated and alone.
These are the reasons why I am sorry, sister. We have strayed further from healing and becoming whole from our core desires — which is to love and be loved.
Sister, I am sorry, I apologize for any person, any man, any representation of leadership from a male figure, anyone you trusted, and anyone who you valued or thought you had a valuable relationship with. I apologize for spaces where distrust, mismanagement, abuse and unwarranted reality showed up. I apologize, sister. I am sorry.
There is something in this universe, or rather this current climate, that begins to break me. However, I will not allow myself to be broken while I allow it to break you. Sister, mother, wife, friend, homegirl, we will not be broken and we will not fall.
There is a disdain in the air and a separation of men that has become so toxic that the divide between men and women is taking on an unprecedented shape much uglier than ever before. I am sorry we have led you here — to oceans of toxicity, a place that can’t quench your thirst or help you in any way. I apologize to any men before me in any shape or form.
I want to remind you that you are God’s best; you literally bring life to this planet. Don’t apologize for your growth and success. Don’t diminish yourself or your self-worth.
Believe it or not, there are men that see your value and purpose, and will lift you higher. These words, I hope, are proof of that.
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Terrell Maclin spent over 25 years studying vulnerability, courage, control, worthiness and shame. His first project on relationship healing called “Sister I’m Sorry” landed him on Oprah and was seen by millions.
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