A few weeks ago, I was going through my mountain of grad school work and my professor asked a question. I felt the need to share. Below are both the question and my response.

Answer one (or both, if applicable) of these questions: Have you ever been stereotyped and how did it feel? 

As a black woman, living in America, my success will always be measured by my ability to navigate through stereotypes. People see my skin color and my gender before they see ‘me’.

The mere pronunciation of my name has caused me to change it, simplify it, so my teachers and co-workers would be able to say it. I’ve turned been downed by jobs on account of my name alone. Every stereotype is a direct hit to the face, and with every direct contact there is significant damage, with significant damage there comes significant pain. Pain and suffering have been engrained in me. I carry them like a badge of honor because there is no pain, no suffering that I cannot withstand. I am built to survive, I am built to never give up, I am built to work hard, I am equipped with the tools to start over has many times as needed.

My pain is my release; my happiness comes from overcoming obstacles on my path. My father once told me, “it’s in the times of hardship and pain that you see someone’s strength. It’s your ability to push through any obstacle that makes you a Man. Daughter, life is never easy but if you quit you will never make it.” 

His words have never been truer to this day. There is always traffic on the easy road, seldom on the one faced with turbulences. Yet that’s the steadiest way to go. I’m always conflicted with the notion of letting go because my father's words just come back in my head like a migraine. Am I just giving up, is there something I could’ve done? Sometimes, we just fail as well. 

No matter how hard we try things just don’t seem to work. Get up and try again a different way. Never get tired of working, never get tired of being hurt. Pain is a part of life. Life is a constant up and down battle. You will always be judged, there will always be someone who doesn’t like you and there will always be people out to get you. You can choose to focus on all those negative connotations from people who do not know you or you can leave them to their thoughts and focus on yourself. True happiness comes from pleasing one’s self. Every day you make yourself proud, then you’ve made it. You need to accept pain to accept happiness. One is nothing without the other. 

They contrast each other and make each other worthwhile. One cannot exist without the contrast of the other.