Alex Haynes was sitting alone in a restaurant when he overheard the conversation of the white family sitting next to him. The 15-year-old son looked to his parents and said, “This is wrong. Why do they keep killing blacks like this?” He recalled the conversation in a Twitter thread and in a Facebook post, both of which have been shared numerous times.
The boy’s question captured Haynes’ attention. On this morning, the wounds on the hearts of Black America were still fresh. It was the morning after the murder of Philando Castile and barely 2 days after the murder of Alton Sterling.
The 15-year-old boy continued, saying, “It’s like every week another name and no one does anything about it.” He was right. The mother looked at Haynes and nervously said “Keep quiet. I don’t know if there’s anything we can do.”
Here Haynes was, sitting across from this white family as a 15-year-old boy asked the hard questions that his parents insisted on sweeping under the rug. He decided that he wouldn’t let this moment pass him by. He sat his coffee down and said, “Keeping quiet is not the answer. Obviously your son knows that.”
Haynes, who is a radio talk-show host for The Shake Up AM, is known for his outspoken nature. However, he said that he’d felt silenced by the events of this past week.
“Alton’s brutal death knocked the life out of me, and I don’t think I mumbled more than three words to anyone after watching the video of his murder,” he told Blavity. “I have no words (just) an indescribable fear and a burning passion to invoke change. I’m a little numb, but I can’t be silent.”
‘Would it be different if one of his teammates was gunned down? If it were your own son, would you want his teammates to speak out?’
— American Black Man (@AlexUnmuted) July 7, 2016
The mom started to tear up and the dad just kinda sat his paper down. The boy looked at me and said ‘thank you sir. I’m sorry.
— American Black Man (@AlexUnmuted) July 7, 2016
#BlackLivesMatter They really do. Don’t you be afraid to tell someone else that. Don’t shy away from it. They already know. Tell them anyway
— American Black Man (@AlexUnmuted) July 7, 2016
This burning passion is what caused him to speak out to the family. “It was clear to me that the parents didn’t feel like it was their fight, and the young man was bothered,” he said. “How many other white families have this same problem? Their kids go to school with us, play sports with us, party with us…live with us. Of course they’re bothered. I just thought it would be best if he heard thoughts from a black man. Someone had to tell him the truth.”
Research from Gallup in 2015-2016 shows that only 27 percent of white Americans believe that race relations are an issue in the United States, as opposed to 53 percent of black Americans. This gap is 11 percent percent wider than that of the 2012 to 2014 polls, which was only 17 percent. There’s a disconnect in the perspective of white and black Americans and it could likely be decreased if more conversations about race relations were focused one educating white Americans.
We have all been where Haynes was. His story was the moment where we heard non-black people casually speak of the tragedy that is currently ripping us apart. His story was the moment where we felt overburdened by pain but were in awe that none of our non-black peers or co-workers have decided to address the issue that’s so close to our hearts. This is the moment where we have the power to make a change.
“When we talk, people will listen,” Haynes said. “If you see people you work with and live with, ignoring this issue, say something. Start the conversation, don’t wait on them.”
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