Sean "P. Diddy" Combs celebrated his 50th birthday with a star-studded party that left everyone fawning over the guest list and the flood of pictures on social media the following day. But the media mogul said the party almost didn't happen after reflecting on the loss of his ex-girlfriend Kim Porter. 

Combs, whose birthday was on November 4, opted for a quiet dinner on his special day instead of an elaborate celebration. He told People in an exclusive interview that he and Porter “talked about my 50th birthday,” so going through with the plans didn't feel right. 

"I wasn't feeling it," he said. "I didn’t want to be fake. I wanted to be at a point of strength.”

“I canceled the party two times because I just couldn’t see myself partying for my 50th birthday without her,” he added. 

The star posted a video to Instagram on his birthday looking back at his 50 years of life. The video was accompanied by a caption saying, "Thank you all for always loving, supporting and praying for me always! It's halftime. Now let's go!!!!"


Porter and Combs dated off and on for nearly 10 years before their final split in 2007. The two shared three children together: Christian and twins D'Lila Star and Jessie James. The model suddenly passed away from a battle with pneumonia on November 15, 2018.

Combs, however, came up with a solution that he thought would be more fitting. He pushed the date of the party to a more meaningful weekend. 

“I thought, ‘I can have a party with Kim and we can party together,'” he recalled.

Porter would have turned 49 during the weekend of the elaborate party. 

Despite considering canceling the event multiple times, Combs said his mid-century birthday celebration "worked out beautifully.”

The party of nearly 600 guests featured Beyoncé, Jay-Z, Kelly Rowland, Kanye West, Pharrell and Mary J. Blige. 

“It was probably one of the most authentic nights of love that I ever experienced. I’m blessed,” he said.

A source told People that the party "was like a superstar convention! The musical giants of our time were all there to pay their respects.”

Among the notable guests at the event was Combs' family including his mother, son Justin and Porter's son, Quincy Brown, who the mogul helped raise. Brown gave a toast during the party.

Twins D'Lila and Jessie were also present. The two just recently turned 13. 

The night couldn't end without the large cake donning the word "love" being brought out as Blige sang "Happy Birthday." According to People, Combs previously said he plans to change his middle name to the heartwarming word. 

Combs will continue to celebrate into the new year as he was announced the 2020 Grammy Salute to Industry Icons honoree, according to Variety.