Another week, another ridiculous Rachel Dolezal story. This one is so ridiculous, we can hardly deal to be the bearer of shameful news. 

But we should have known. The above image should tell you that she doesn't have any home training. She has her feet on the couch like KellyAnne Conway

Photo: Giphy

Looks like Rachel has a new memoir coming out. Here is a picture of us running to our local bookstore to go cop it.

Photo: Nickelodeon 

The memoir is titled: In Full Color: Finding My Place in a Black and White World. She talks about her numerous experiences as a child and young adult about wanting to be black. 

Photo: Giphy

The New York Post has posted some excerpts of the memoir. Here are some of the most….interesting ones. 

Becoming interested in blackness through National Geographic: 

“I’d stir the water from the hose into the earth … and make thin, soupy mud, which I would then rub on my hands, arms, feet, and legs…“ would pretend to be a dark-skinned princess in the Sahara Desert or one of the Bantu women living in the Congo … imagining I was a different person living in a different place was one of the few ways … that I could escape the oppressive environment I was raised in.”

Preferring the brown crayon over the peach one:

"I usually picked a brown crayon rather than a peach one. Peach simply didn’t resonate with me."

Feeling black despite not meeting a black person until she was 10:

the feeling that I was somehow different from (my family) persisted. I felt black and saw myself as black.”

..and when her parents adopted four black children (which she claims was for "tax deductions"): 

“I found myself drawing closer to something that felt oddly familiar. For the first time in my life, I felt like I was truly part of a family.”

On remaining "unapologetically black" and believing race is a social construct: 

“For me, Blackness is more than a set of racialized physical features. It involves acknowledging our common human ancestry with roots in Africa. Just as a transgender person might be born male but identify as female, I wasn’t pretending to be something I wasn’t but expressing something I already was. I wasn’t passing as Black; I was Black, and there was no going back.”

Rachel…..just stop, please. Bye. 

Photo: Giphy