I was born and bred in the Second City. The wind bristles through my lungs and the deep dish sticks to my ribcage, molding me. I may currently dwell in Los Angeles, but Chicago has always been and will always been home. I ride for the Chi from the way I walk and talk down to the way I create. 

Every major city has their "thing": That thing that makes your city… yours. Though one can argue that a lot of general big city things that intersect, execution matters. You may pizza like us, but you can't do pizza like us. So, in a "homecoming" spirit of sorts — shout-out to old Kanye — I had to dedicate the following to Chi city. 

1. Noms! 

The food, though! Aside from its strong winds, Chicago prides itself in its food. We definitely do the most when it comes to the noms and we are unapologetic about it. If you wanna eat good; come to the Chi! I'm talkin' Harold’s Chicken / Uncle Remus, pizza, Italian Beef (this has been infamously called our "burger"), Garrett’s popcorn, store-bought chips drowned with beef and nacho cheese, penny candy and more! Oh, and by the way, we don't only eat deep-dish pizza. That's for special sit-down family-and-friend gatherings. Yes, we do thin crust, too. And it's still better than your fave. Square slices over everything!

2. The "El" or The "L"

I grew up never understanding why our train system was called, "The L." I just went along with it. These are my confessions. Turns out, it's called that because the trains are "elevated," meaning it's more logically spelled, "The 'El.'" We do have subway/underground trains as well, but most cinematic shots of Chicago are going to feature our elevated platforms. 

3. House / "Juke" Music 

You know how The Percolator still goes hard in clubs nationwide to this day? You're welcome. Classic Chicago house has evolved into what we call "juke" music. As soon as you hear "uh-oh; work it work it" it's OVER. Juking and footworking is ingrained in our bones. What does footworking look like? Well, I'm glad you asked (in my head)!


4. Cubs vs. White Sox 

Largely, there are two Chicagos: Northside and Southside (sorry, westsiders and eastsiders… though I got cousins throughout!). Though we have overall Chicago pride, when it comes down to the nitty gritty, northsiders rep Cubs and southsiders rep White Sox. No debate. Despite having two baseball teams in the same city, the rivalry is real. Case in point, when the Cubs finally conquered their decades long curse, I gave them a generic "that's what's up nod" and that's it. I'm a southsider, through and through. Yes, we talkin' baseball, but it's not a game.

5. Phrasing 

As I became older and traveled more within the country, I grew fascinated with the various slang in different regions. For Chicago you'll hear phrases ranging from "joe" to "dinna mug." It's "pop"; not "soda." It's "front room," instead of living room (I'd argue that some houses have both). If you're roasting someone and you were successful (aka, called them an "uglass lame"), the roastee "just got treated!" We don't rock sneakers, we rock gym shoes. And so on. It's complicated dinna mug.  

6. What You Talkin' 'Bout, Willis Tower? 

The Sears Tower is the king of our skyline and is the second-tallest structure in the U.S. Fun fact: We did boast the tallest building in the world, once it was built in 1973. Well, one day in 2003, the building was renamed the skyscraper, The Willis Tower, even years after Sears Robebuck sold the tower and kept the naming rights until then. No one in Chicago calls it the Willis Tower. You ask me for directions to The Willis Tower, I'm going to be like, "Oh, you mean the Sears Tower!" Honorable Mention: Comiskey Park (home of the White Sox) turned U.S. Cellular Field turned — omg this is the worst name ever — Guaranteed Rate Field. 

Photo: GIPHY

7. Brrrrr, It's Cold In Here; It Must Be Some Wind Chill In The Atmosphere! 

I always say that Chicago is the only U.S. town that can go toe-to-toe with Canada winters. Thanks to good ol' Lake Michigan, our winters are sprinkled with what is called "the lake effect," causing a hellish phenomenon called "wind chill." That's when you see the high temperature of 20 degrees fahrenheit, but it "feels like" -15. I've never been stabbed in the face, but I can say with the utmost confidence that this is what wind chill feels like. It's the time where looking cute is rejected and you cover your entire body except maybe your eyes, so you can see. This is why I tell people to only visit Chicago during the summer. As a city that fully appreciates summer, our summers are dope. 

8. The Old Navy Preacher  

You're not a true Chicago native unless you've encountered Samuel Chambers, aka The Old Navy Preacher. He was dubbed this after standing in front of the now-relocated Old Navy store on State Street. His M.O. is telling any passersby that they are "going to hell" due to a myriad of attributes that he considers sins. Since then, he has stood in front of Wet Seal (I don't think that's still a thing) and Gap, all still on State Street. 

9. YOUR Chicago Bulls! 

Yes, Michael Jordan is the greatest basketball player in the history of nets and no we won't stop reminding you of that. Especially you Lebron fans. Yes, we are perpetually living in 1991-1993 and 1996-1998. Two three peats, bih. Stay mad.

Photo: GIPHY

10. The 'Burbs Are The 'Burbs, Nothing More.  

Oftentimes, when people ask you where you're from and you're not from a major city, it behooves you to just say the major city to avoid any confusion or elongated explanation. I get it. However, that don't fly here. If you're from Naperville, you're not from Chicago. You tell a Chicagoan that you're from, prepare to cite your street, neighborhood, zip code or Harold's location (the only correct answer is 87th, by the way). 

Photo: The Midnight Diner

11. Please stop with the "Chi-raq." 

Chicago has made national headlines over the past few years in regards to its murders due to gun violence. However, to anyone actually living in the city it is largely exploitative. First off, Chicago isn't the murder capital of America and its numbers are considered average for a metropolitan city of its size. Second, because Chicago is such a segregated city (redlining is real), most of the murders are concentrated within certain pockets of the city, namely the West and South Sides (also stricken with heavy unemployment and poverty rates to the surprise of no one). Terms like "Chi-raq" or likening the entire city to a "war zone" is less about genuine concern and more about sensationalism. Next time you visit a Chicagoan in your circle, please don't jokingly yell, "I hope I don't get shot!" 

So, there's just a taste of Chicago. My fellow Chi residents! What other Chicago-specific things do y'all want folks to know about?

P.S. Tastes may vary, but I prefer "the Chi" over "Chi-Town." 

Photo: GIPHY