health

I am 27 and I’m single.My East African, marriage-obsessed mother has now started her own campaign into finding me a husband. She thinks that I am being too picky, she is adamant that “sum’sing is berry wrong” with my selection process. She has gone as far as forcing me to swear in the name of Injera that I make sure next Christmas I have somebody right by my side having dinner. I’m not sure she quite realizes that finding love isn’t as straight forward as it was in the '80s. I’m also not sure I can let down another one of her pre-arranged blind dates for me.I am 27 and single.I also happen to have a preference. Christian, black and quirky, traveler, humanitarian, emotionally intelligent, fitness enthusiast ... etc. My chances are really slim and this new age of online dating and immediate access to other humans has now made this whole game even harder. Men think we are as replaceable as eyelash strips these days. Chivalry isn’t completely dead, but quite frankly, I’m exhausted of pretending to want to go halves on our first date, all in the name of appearing independent. I’m about five percent away from writing an entire book about why I do not feel I can date a man who doesn’t offer to pay on the first date. Extreme feminists and “gold-digger” allergic men alike, I am sorry if I offend you.I’m 27 and single.Sometimes I wonder whether I should readjust my standards, change my requirements, maybe even go back to old flames who failed me the first time round. Sometimes, in all honesty, I do not feel good enough. I’ve had days when I’ve felt like I am not the type of woman that men want to marry.  Sometimes I’m convinced SZA wrote “Normal Girl” after having a front row screening of my love life. Sometimes, I “AWWWWWW” at the cute couples on Instagram, sometimes I feel I can’t bear to see another post from Black Love Exists (shout out to you guys). The single life is one hell of a rollercoaster.I’m 27 and single.I’m worried about my body clock, I’m concerned I won’t have the fairy tale wedding I’ve always dreamed of. What if I never get to jump into the oceans after my long awaited destination wedding? What if I leave it too long and I end up with the type of man I’ve vowed I’d never be with? What if that is what God has always intended for me? GOD? ARE YOU THERE? (*dips into tub of ice cream*)I’m 27 and single.After reading the above you probably think I’m a cynical 20-something year old wallowing in her sorrows about not having the wedding hashtag of the year. Though I do have bad days when the above crosses my mind, what remains and will always remain is that no matter what, what is meant for you will find you when the time is right. In all honesty, it is frustrating coming back from yet another date and realizing the search must go on. HOWEVER, please remember that there is no deadline date on finding love. Realistically, the older you get, the more refined your pool of interest will be. You know yourself more. Your relationship with your intuition is so much clearer. You understand what works and doesn’t work for you. Somewhere along the line, you’ve realized a man who values money over all things isn’t the one for you. You realize that dating somebody who is OK with living a mediocre life isn’t aligned with who you are. You realize that, YES, you cannot date a man who doesn’t love God as much as you do, as controversial as this topic is. Undoubtedly, you won’t have the same options you had when you were a 20-year-old baby girl. And that’s OK.Find peace in the fact that finding a true, perfect love isn’t a race. Usain Bolt wasn’t sent on this earth to be a muse for us single folks. There is also this belief that unless you find “the one,” your life truly hasn’t started. If there’s any time to live and embrace life, it’s in your season of being single. Do all the things you love and embed them into your soul, so much so that once you do meet the one, he/she knows that these things come with you, too. How sad would it be to live a passive/boring single life, attract somebody who is allured by this life and then proceed to living the rest of your life wanting, but not doing. Soul crushing.I believe it’s vital to remember that though finding a lifelong companion is a key part of most of our lives, there are so many other things to channel your focus into. You’ll likely find that once you start channelling your energies into other things, Mr. Man will bump into you as you pick up your daily espresso before work. He’ll be the awkward guy at the exhibition. She’ll be one of your best friends from school.In the mean time, make sure you are living the very best life you can.I’m 27 and single and I. AM. DOING. JUST. FINE.Dear future husband, or no husband at all, speak...

At 23 years old, lifting myself from my tub was almost impossible, excruciatingly painful. Active in the NFL, I played for the Cowboys, Cardinals and the Jaguars. Along with tendonitis my blood pressure was off the charts; anti-inflammatories and painkillers were essential components of every day.My 305-pound defensive lineman frame was sustained by excessive portions of meat. After watching Forks Over Knives on Netflix, I transitioned into being vegan. The documentary spotlighted the flaws in the accepted formula for achieving peak performance and size — exposing healthier choices as viable options.I found studies like the NIOSH study stating that the average age of death for NFL players is 56, due to food related illnesses like heart disease, cancer, stroke and diabetes. This is despite them being touted as physical specimens in today's society. With my experiences, I sought to change the narrative, for anyone who would listen. I forged a speaking career with help from the vegan/animal rights community.Although I love animals, I never spoke much of them because I didn’t go vegan for them, I did it for my health. Through the years I realized that most people of color (POC) share the same thought.The vegan/animal rights movement has a reputation for being like a country club — white and elitist. Their organizations say that POC don’t want to be vegan or care about animals. In fact, we want to be healthy or vegan, but we don’t necessarily have the privilege to care about animals like white people do. And we shouldn’t have to feel guilty.Many of us are in survival mode, trying to eat in communities that are food deserts, where fruits and vegetables are not readily available—unlike in other franchised areas. Diets consist of processed fast food and bodega junk. Transitioning is done with the idea of governmental systems restricting access to nutritious foods.In the vegan arena, POC can sometimes feel like the only black baseball player on an all-white team in the '50s. We feel discrimination on multiple levels. Our vegan nonprofit organizations like Food Empowerment Project or Better Health Better Life work for animals, food justice and environmental racism struggle receiving funding, while solely animal focused entities amass millions. We see major corporations like Pepsi and fast food distributors focus the bulk of their marketing and location budget on targeting us.I recently spoke at Harvard Law on the topic Oppression in the Food System and expanded on these ideas. For example, if you look at the history of all people of melanin over the world, plant based diets were prominent. Eating meat became tradition over the years.Now, more than ever, our people (artists, athletes and regular joes) are expiring from food related illness in their 30’s or 40’s. We are trying to set a health trend by building groups to help with transition. We understand that we should not be topping the list of diseases known around the world as western illnesses.The urgency around dealing with this issue as a community is at an all-time high as we witness so many purveyors of the culture fighting for their lives or leaving us way to soon due to preventable illnesses. From Prodigy, to Phife Dawg, to Reggie Ossei to Craig Mack and countless others who never saw their 50th birthday, our black men are dying. We just almost lost Rick Ross as well, and it occurred to me that although I admire his entrepreneurial efforts, it's time for us to change the narrative by electing to franchise farmer's markets instead of fast food chains in our communities. Awareness and accessibility is key to a sustainable healthy future for our people.David Carter, 30, native of Los Angeles, CA however currently resides in Brooklyn, NY.  David is currently touring across the U.S. speaking about food justice, plant based living and vegan experiences. David will present his first music, culture and wellness festival, Truth, Health & Culture Festival this summer in NYC. David will release two books in 2018-19 through Serendipity...

Every family has its own dynamics that govern how members relate with one another. Not only do our familial relationships set the tone for how we interact with the world, but they can also have a strong impact on our development and life trajectory. In families where dysfunction is prevalent, it's not uncommon for one member to be selected to carry the guilt, anger and frustration for the entire family.Scapegoating allows for appearances to be kept up as the family targets one party for unmerited negative treatment, criticism or blame. Those who are cast as the family scapegoat develop their esteem in a toxic environment. Once free, it's vital for them to examine and dismantle the dysfunctional patterns of their upbringing in order to break the cycle and adopt a new, healthy script.Here are 12 points of examination to determine if you were cast as the  family scapegoat:1. Blame"You can’t do anything right. Everything is your fault."  This kind of early training breeds insecurity and debilitating self-doubt. Know that this simply isn’t true. You were just a convenient receptacle for someone who was incapable or unwilling to take responsibility for their own faults. 2. Verbal Abuse "You are so lazy, stupid and irresponsible." You wore every negative adjective they could summon. No matter how hard you tried to disprove these labels, your perpetrator never missed an opportunity to belittle you. This is a reflection of them, not you.3. Ignored When you told the truth and called out the blatant contradictions, family members and loved ones, even those outside of the household, might have denied or minimized the validity of your experience. This can be hurtful and tough to reconcile, but trust your spirit. You don't need a co-signer to validate it. It's possible that the entire family has a skewed concept of what healthy relationships look like. 4. Isolated The scapegoater goes to great lengths to create dissension between you and anyone who supports and encourages you. If they can't keep you physically separated from your loved ones, they will create drama, manufacture dissension and assassinate the character of your loved one to turn you against them and minimize their influence. Their cult-like system hinges on keeping you small and marginalized. They are threatened by anyone who might interfere.5. Spun You are portrayed to family members in the most negative light possible. The scapegoater goes out of their way to destroy your credibility by telling anyone who will listen how bad you are. This serves two purposes. It proactively aligns people on their side should you try to seek outside support, and it unifies a choir of people to echo and reinforce their strategy to make you believe you are bad and worthless. 6. Accused You are often accused of behavior that the scapegoater is actively engaged in. For example, you could be in the act of folding the laundry, ironing clothes and washing dishes while a family member, who is sitting around and watching tv, accuses you of being lazy. Clearly, this is not true. They are describing themselves and literally projecting their own self-hate on you.7. Labeled The scapegoater has trained the entire family, by example, how to treat you. Once you have been labeled as the bad one, you are fair game for siblings, spouses, relatives, even family friends to pick on. New people who enter the dynamic quickly pick up on the fact that you are the family’s punching bag. Scapegoated children often find themselves in adult relationships and situations that mimic this dynamic. 8. Dismissed There is no reward for good behavior. In fact, your proudest achievements and accomplishments are belittled, ignored or all-together dismissed. This is where many scapegoated children give up and resign themselves to the negative characterization assigned to them.9. Magnified The only deeds that are ever highlighted or broadcasted are the bad ones. Your family is happy to share anything that affirms their negative characterization of you. You might find that the worse you screw up, the kinder you're treated. Your scapegoater won't take proactive steps to help you succeed but they are happy to provide a safety net when you fail. This is because the scapegoater thrives on "I told you so..." They are affirmed when your actions begin to reflect the negativity they've planted.10. Sabotaged Scapegoaters can fall anywhere on a wide behavioral spectrum. Although some demonstrate a total lack of interest and engagement in the life of the child, others go hard to actively sabotage any success their target seeks to have. In the later case, normal developmental milestones that your peers enjoyed were met with resistance in your household. If you were presented with an exciting opportunity, they deflated it and present a million reasons why it would fail. The goal is to kill your drive and destroy your ambition. As a result of this indoctrination, many scapegoated children settle to live below their potential and sabotage their own success.11. The Lure  Oddly, as bad as they claim you were, if you manage to escape their control, they will likely attempt to lure you back in with emotional manipulation. They might start with a guilt-inducing angry rant before evolving into a softer, more supportive approach, playing on your desire for their approval. This might be followed by a fictional recounting of history — when they were loving, supportive and always well-intended. They will try to convince you and everyone else that their unfair treatment of you was a figment of your imagination. But you know better...you were there.12. Script Flip If these attempts don't reel you in, prepare for the level 10, code red, frantic fire drill as they embark upon a rage induced campaign of unprecedented petty proportions. Watch as they go hard to convince everyone in their realm of influence that you’re crazy. Stand back as they frantically use every tool in their kit to assassinate your character. Marvel as they cast themselves as victim and magically spin you as the troubled one. Because they are incapable of owning their own guilt, anger and pain, they have to manipulate and project their insecurities outside of themselves. This is precisely why they needed a scapegoat to begin with.If you were the scapegoat of your family, what you have experienced is emotional and psychological abuse. Victims of scapegoating often suffer from addiction, depression, PTSD and/or obsessive compulsive disorders. They might go to great lengths indulging in superficial highs to numb feelings of low self-esteem and lack of self-worth. Because the scars aren't visible, people tend to dismiss it as no big deal but studies show that the effects of excessive prolonged verbal abuse are the most damaging, because the victimizers voice embeds itself into the psyche as their own negative self-talk. This tape is played on constant repeat in the victim's mind, convincing them of their worthlessness and sabotaging any efforts at success. The key to overcoming is changing that tape.As hurtful and damaging as it is, know that your perpetrator was only acting out of their own dysfunction. They, too, were tormented by their own internal recording and feelings of inadequacy. Instead of dealing with their issues, they chose to project them on you. This is how the vicious cycle is perpetuated generation after generation, but here is where it stops! This will not be your story.You can learn to reprogram the dialogue in your head that tells you, "You're going to fail, you can't do it, you're not good enough." Those are lies. The truth is, you will succeed, you can do it and you are good enough. If you're willing to be vigilant and put in the work, you can go on to live a healthy, unlimited and fulfilling life ensuring that your offspring (should you choose to have them) will never have to endure what you've experienced....

According to the National Center for Health Statistics, 28 million Americans have some degree of hearing loss. That makes up 10 percent of the country’s population.Around 500,000 deaf people in the U.S. and Canada use American Sign Language (ASL) as their natural language. Over the years ASL has become more popular and many hearing people have registered for ASL classes. A recent estimate claims that around 13 million people have some level of proficiency in sign language, which makes American Sign Language the third most commonly used language in the US, according to startasl.comI remember growing up in middle school learning the alphabet in sign language, and it always stuck with me. I grew up not being too fond of Spanish, but since it was a popular language to learn, I took classes in high school and college. After I graduated from graduate school, I wanted to take on a new hobby that would benefit not only myself, but others. That’s when I finally decided to teach myself ASL.I decided to learn ASL after noticing ASL interpreters signing at church on Sundays. I realized when people stated that they wanted to learn a new language, ASL was rarely brought up. Also, from personal experience, I barely heard it talked about in the black community. That’s when I thought that there could be a potential barrier between hearing and deaf individuals in the black community.According to a study from Carnegie Mellon, when asked what the black deaf community identified with first, 87 percent of black deaf adolescents identified as black first, while the remaining 13 percent identified as deaf first. Studies show that those who identify as black first do so because their color is more visible.Former president of the National Black Deaf Advocates, Benro Ogunyipe, stated in an article that black deaf persons often experience prejudice based off of both racial discrimination and communication barriers. This can be traced back during the 17th to mid-20th centuries. The black deaf community were not accepted in the deaf community nor the African-American community, but over time there have been positive changes and progress within the black deaf community, especially through the past three years.What I found more interesting about ASL, is that the black deaf community has their own form of language called Black ASL, which is the equivalent for African-American Vernacular in the black hearing community.So why should more people learn ASL? ASL is just like any other language and it shouldn’t be overlooked. Within the past year, I’ve noticed how ASL can be incorporated in our culture and how it definitely needs to be more recognized.I’ve noticed more of ASL's presence within the music and entertainment industry just by checking social media and seeing celebrities have ASL interpreters at their shows.Below are a few reasons how lit ASL can be for our culture.1. Chance the Rapper learns his “Blessings” verse in sign language2. Waka flocka turning up with ASL interpreter at his show3. Deaf dancer, Shaheem Sanchez, teaching Usher ASL4. You can turn learning ASL into a careerAccording to Chron.com, someone who receives a professional certification from the Registry of Interpreters for the Deaf (RID) can make $62,000 to $73,000 per year. A CIA interpreter can make between $75,000 to $116,000 per year with the proper certifications. The Bureau of Labor Statistics predicts the employment growth to increase by 42 percent for interpreters and translators from 2010 to 2020.Pretty good reasons, right? Let’s join the movement! Go out there and bridge that gap between the hearing and deaf...

After reading a post on reproductive justice, I discovered a term for part of my life’s work and advocacy. As an educator, I learned even more about how much love and nurturing black children need and deserve. My work has also taught me that a child has to be nurtured as soon as  you know it exists, especially black children who are literally targets for violence in our society. Doing anything other than giving a child the attention and care it needs to flourish, while in the womb leads to trauma. One that will eventually show itself as debilitating, cyclical, and sometimes incorrigible.However, my focus isn’t only on black people’s very real and continuous trauma because combative and preventative measures exist for healing. If we are seriously creating black futures, we must think about what that looks like and steps we need to take right now to get there. How do we, right now, have black families living near destitution, but still be provided with the tools to create a safe, healthy environment for their children? There are varied responses to this question. And, in the interest of reproductive justice, mine is let’s start with doulas.Every woman deserves to safely and healthily welcome her child into the world. The Center for Disease Control reports black mothers are at a higher risk for pregnancy complications, which results in mother and child deaths. Toxic environments, limited finances, and an overall disregard for them by American society (i.e. Flint, Michigan) only exacerbates their likelihood of experiencing medical issues. To that end, black women, particularly  in low-income areas, can certainly benefit from the assistance doulas provide.Extra guidance during pregnancy and postpartum could decrease the black infant mortality rate in the U.S., which has the highest amongst any wealthy nation. In D.C. alone, black infants in poverty are 10 times more likely to die compared to white children in the city. Offering and introducing impoverished black families to doula care could be the beginning of resolving these sickening facts.For many, being pregnant is a joyous time. Yet, parents enduring societal hardships may feel as though they need more knowledge, resources, confidence and, in the case of parents with more than one child, support. In any of these situations a doula can alleviate these feelings. Doulas help parents adjust to and prepare for the life change a new child brings, but unfortunately, not everyone has access to doulas or even understands their practicality.Many don’t know about the insurmountable amount of knowledge, support, and overall love they provide to mothers, for babies’ benefit. Or that they guide partners on how to be more attentive and nurturing as they navigate the beginning of parenthood alongside mom.  Their work is so meaningful that research recently proved doula services can reduce the likelihood of emergency c-sections and preterm births, eliminating extra medical expenses.When it comes to all that people of African descent experience, it’s counterproductive to brood over problems without constructing and offering solutions. Thus, I have acknowledged and provided ways black families, regardless of their income, can access doula services.Community ProgramsA quick Google search will help locate community programs that offer doula services in any city like The Northern Manhattan Perinatal Partnership in NYC. It is currently training doulas who will work with mothers in underserved communities. The organization will provide birth and postpartum doulas to women in all five boroughs for free. Also, The Community of Hope in D.C. provides doula services in addition to breastfeeding support and prenatal care. They partner with Midwives of MedStar Washington Hospital Center to offer these services. Look into the services that your local community program offers. If doula care isn’t provided, advocate for these kinds of assistance.Student DoulasSome programs that offer doula services include information on local student doulas. While these doulas are new, their work should not be undermined. Most times they offer their services for free or at a low-cost, as they work towards certification,  building their clientele and enhancing their skills.Black Doula OrganizationsOrganizations such as Sista MidWife Productions, Black Women Birthing Justice (BWBJ) and Radical Doula offers resources for black women seeking to empower themselves through motherhood and the choices they make as they navigate it. They all offer access to black women doulas. Sista Midwife and Radical Doula both include a site directory of black women doulas throughout the U.S. While they don’t specifically say they can assist with providing low cost care, connecting with these organizations could be beneficial for finding someone who does.Doula Insurance CoverageMost do not, but some insurance companies will reimburse for doulas. This could be a long  process, but  you can speak with your insurance company to see if they offer this. As you consult different doulas pick their brains too. You may have a doula who’s  had a client who received reimbursement.I’m not suggesting one way of labor delivery is better than any other; everyone may not prefer to have a doula. Different methods work based on a woman’s health, experiences, and preferences. Still, studies have shown the financial and health benefits of doulas. And contrary to popular belief, even if a woman decides to have a hospital  birth and use pain medication, a doula can be helpful.  It’s a woman’s prerogative to determine the plan for her pregnancy,  labor, birth, and postpartum decisions. So, the choice should not be made for her by her socioeconomic status, race, or ward. If you know black women, black families that can benefit from this information, I urge you to share it. Our futures are depending on us to do so.Did you use a doula? Let us know your experience in the comments below! Dajae Gilliard is an educator, writer and protector of all things nurturing black children. READ NEXT: 28 Things I taught my children before age 10...

Photo: Tiffany Williams, Tierra Taylor Raise your hand if trap music is the only thing that gets your mind right in the morning, before an interview or after a long day of adulting. Let's face it, trap music doesn't only fuel the turn up; it also fuels the glow up. And, for self-proclaimed 'trap scholar' Kimberly Huggins, it fueled her degree. Her master's thesis was born from a mind powered by "Trap N*ggas" by Future – and she has everything to show for it. Kimberly is one half of KIMBRITIVE, a social start-up that pushes the envelope in sexual health and reproductive justice by creating authentic conversations. KIMBRITIVE was born from the minds of Kimberly and Brittany Brathwaite, who met during their undergraduate careers at Syracuse University. The duo was a part of a student organization that empowered black and Latino students on campus to lead healthy sexual lives. After they graduated, they decided to take their work back home to Brooklyn, and so KIMBRITIVE was born. KIMBRITIVE has come to life in many ways, and isn't only based in Brooklyn. Conversations about sexual health are started as the two integrate their ideas into workshops, conferences, presentations, after school programs and more. Their work has already led to the acknowledgement of National HIV/AIDs Awareness Day in Brooklyn. We sat down and talked toKIMBRITIVE about their 'traphisticated' venture and how they're making waves for young women of color. Blavity: What does a day at KIMBRITIVE look like? KIMBRITIVE: KIMBRITIVE is a passion-filled and purpose-driven start-up organized by Brittany, who also organizes with Girls for Gender Equity, and Kimberly, who is a full time graduate student. With our varying schedules, we carved out Mondays and Fridays as our virtual “office days” to roll up our sleeves and check off all of the things on our to-do lists. I don’t know about you, but there is nothing greater (give or take a few things, of course!) than checking something off of your to-do-list! On our virtual office days, we “clock in” via Google hangouts and focus on everything from business operations (i.e. invoices, contracts, collaborations and budgets) to education and innovation tasks like creating trap-music inspired sexual education workshops or reading up on the latest trends in adolescent sexual health. The culture of KIMBRITIVE is to take our wildest ideas and create innovative, relatable and educational workshops and content with the goal of normalizing healthy conversations about sexual health, reproductive justice and everything in between. In this creative process, we are constantly bouncing ideas off of each other in order to envision, create and implement. We always keep the 15 and 16-year old versions of ourselves in mind in order to ensure that our workshops and content are youth-centered, culturally relevant, engaging and energetic. We always start off our “shift” by checking in with each other because outside of our business partnership, we value and cherish the friendship/sisterhood that brought us together and keeps us committed to doing this kind of work. B: Brittany, you call yourself the "Protector of Black Girl Magic," what exactly does that mean and how does KIMBRITIVE as a whole protect black girl magic? Brittany: Black girl magic is a term often used to illustrate the universal awesomeness of black women and girls. Originally, coined by CaShawn Thompson, this term has been used everywhere from hashtags to crewnecks to coffee mugs. I see it used on social media, at least 5 times a day. I believe that while #BlackGirlMagic has been used awesomely to celebrate how beautiful, inspiring and powerful black women and girls are, we also must acknowledge how magical and important black women and girls are in light of violence, racism, sexism and homophobia. To protect #BlackGirlMagic means that we have a constant, unwavering commitment to showing up for black women and girls. KIMBRITIVE is committed to protecting black girl magic as a whole by not just showing up for (and applauding) black girls and women when they win gold medals in the Olympics or get millions of dollars in scholarships, but also showing up for them when they are victims of police brutality and institutional racism. It requires showing up for trans black women and girls and gender non-conforming folks. It requires that we #SayHerName. It requires that we march in the streets for black women and girls, just like we do for black men and boys. It requires that we demand justice for #EveryBlackGirl in America, and beyond. It means unapologetically advocating for affordable, accessible, competent and stigma-free sexual and reproductive education and health care for low-income black women and girls who seek it. This includes abortion care. It requires believing black women and girls, always! At KIMBRITIVE we believe it is our duty to show up black girls as two-young black women. Because if not us, then who? B: One of your workshops is called " Standing Up in a Crooked Room: Techniques to Help Empower Young Black Women and Girls through Popular Culture." What need did you seek to fill by creating this workshop? What is the core lesson that is taught? KIMBRITIVE: Standing Up in a Crooked Room is based on the Crooked Room chapter from Dr. Melissa Harris Perry’s book “Sister Citizen: Shame, Stereotypes, and Black Women in America. Harris Perry says “When they confront race and gender stereotypes, black women are standing in a crooked room, and they have to figure out which way is up. Bombarded with warped images of their humanity, some black women tilt and bend themselves to fit the distortion....To understand why black women's public actions and political strategies sometimes seem tilted in ways that accommodate the degrading stereotypes about them, it is important to appreciate the structural constraints that influence their behavior. It can be hard to stand up straight in a crooked room.” (pg. 62) We created this workshop to seek justice in the lives of young black women and girls, by building capacity among adult-allies of all races. We start this dialogue with adult-allies about the ways in which adolescents, in particular young black women and girls, are bombarded with varying controlling images of sexual expression and violence via lyrics, media and images. These messages shape cultural expectations of sexuality and highly feminine gender expression and performance, which can be conflicting for young women: the “crooked” room. In addition, gender-based violence for young women of color takes many forms from street harassment, to unequal power in condom negotiation, to teen dating violence. We always encourage the adult allies that we work with to lean into the experiences of the young people they work with in order to come from a place of humility and understanding. We offer an exercise to help adults become better allies to youth, by providing them an opportunity to attempt to stand up in a crooked room, as young people do everyday. We ask adults to stand in young people’s shoes and attempt to both understand the ways in young people can interpret these messages positively and challenge these dominant messages by defining who they are and/or who they want to be in their own words. In our experience as adolescent health educators and youth workers, we understand the pivotal role that popular culture plays in influencing these behaviors and in turn use it as a political tool to help young women of color examine, deconstruct, negotiate and re-evaluate their relationships with themselves, others and the world around them. It is our goal that through redefinition, reclaiming and resisting practices via media-literacy and its translation for public health, we can help adult-allies see young black women and girls as experts on their own lives and advance our mission for self-determined lives free of violence for all. B: Do either of you have any memorable instances from your outreach where you could feel the impact you made in that moment? If so, can you describe that situation? Brittany: I think a memorable moment for me was when we did a puberty workshop with Middle Schoolers in Harlem, who were part of the Glow to Grow Mentoring program. Part of the workshop, includes conversations about “getting your first period.” During the workshop, Kim and I demonstrated how to use a pad and tampon, and all of the girls left their seats and crowded around us to get a better look. They had so many questions, and we were so excited to attempt to answer them all. While it was not out of the ordinary for Kim and I to facilitate this kind of conversation, it was heart-warming to know that we were doing it with 9 year-olds. Even though I am in my 20s, many of my friends are still uncomfortable about talking about menstruation. We still live in a society that still stigmatizes and shames people who menstruate. To be able to create safe(r) spaces where we can provide honest information to curious young black girls is an amazing feeling. I think Kim and I were smiling the whole day after that workshop. Kimberly: For me, it was definitely the day we facilitated “How to Be a F.L.Y. Girl: First, Love Yourself!” for the NYC Healthy Teen Relationship Conference. We both took a day off from our 9-5s in order to facilitate that workshop. This workshop was created for young women but, both boys and girls showed up! It was truly remarkable to see both young men and women of color engaging in conversations about what "real" and "respectable" love is with others and themselves. After our workshop, we noticed a few people throughout the day wearing the “How to Be a F.L.Y. Girl: First, Love Yourself!” pins that weren’t in our workshop earlier. It shocked me because I instantly wondered, “Where did they get it from?” I asked one of the young women where they got it from and she went on to describe a workshop that her friend went to in Syracuse, NY (unbeknownst to her, it was the workshop we facilitated for the Sisters Empowering Sisters Conference!) who later gave them the pin as a gift. It was an amazing feeling to see your work being shared and felt by others, even when you’re not in the room. It made me feel validated and confirmed that our work is important and necessary. B: How can our community support KIMBRITIVE and get involved? KIMBRITIVE: Work with us and invite us to your events! We love to connect, build and get in formation with other like-minded individuals and organizations who share the mission of normalizing healthy conversations about sexuality, relationships, and reproductive justice while empowering and celebrating the voices and experiences of young people and women of color. Learn more about KIMBRITIVE, like them on Facebook and follow them on Instagram. Never miss a headline! Sign up for our daily...

As a black yoga student and teacher, I get thrilled when something new comes around. It’s even more meaningful when that “something new” is created for us and by us. Yoga has been hijacked and commercialized by mainstream media. We are shown what it means to be and look like a yogi and that image is a skinny, sexy, flexible and rich white woman. Unfortunately, the damage is so deep I can’t even begin to cover it in this article. It’s hurtful to the history of the sacred practice, disrespectful to the women who are constantly being overtly sexualized and harmful to anyone who doesn’t fit that mold (due to the color of your skin, how you self-identify, economic status, physical ability and so much more). When I came across Yoga Green Book, I instantly knew it was something refreshing, something special and sacred. It’s something for the black community. We can claim it as ours and be proud of it and the site is a beautiful representation of who we are. It’s an online community where people of color can go for yoga. I visit the site often for many reasons: To see other people who look like me doing things that I’m interested in. The blog is an amazing learning space. Of course, the yoga! Relatability I had a chance to ask Yoga Green Book founder, Carla Christine, some questions.Her answers made me love the site even more. Check it out below for yourself. Jasmine Creighton: What inspired you to create YGB? Carla Christine: Following my first yoga class, I recognized that it had the ability to aid in self-healing. After 10 years working as an electrical engineer, I was empowered to leave my job and follow my passion and purpose to share yoga's transformational power. While teaching yoga at a studio in Chicago, I saw the need to create a healing space for people of color that could improve their physical, mental and emotional health. I created Yoga Green Book as this healing space for yogis of color to unite and practice yoga in a space dedicated and reflective of their image. I specifically created an online video platform because I feel online yoga is an encouraging entry point for those new to yoga, as well as a means for seasoned practitioners to continue to evolve their practice.   I believe in the power of practicing in a physical space with a teacher and other yogis, but I understand that is not always realistic. True power comes in having a consistent practice and ultimately finding your own personal practice. JC: The name is very powerful and carries deep historical roots; can you elaborate more on the name? CC: The name Yoga Green Book was inspired by The Negro Motorist Green Book, which was a printed guide of businesses that weary segregation-era travelers could trust and safely take refuge in. A segment in Henry Louis Gates Jr.'s documentary The African Americans: Many Rivers to Cross detailed The Green Book and sparked my idea to build an online safe space for people of color to practice yoga and reap its benefits.   JC: What is the mission of YGB? CC: To promote healing and holistic wellness for people of color through online yoga studio and community. JC: What separates you from other websites that offer memberships and access to online yoga? CC: Our site is dedicated and representative of people of color. I believe there is much to be gained when you are in a space that is racially and culturally-affirming. JC: What would you say (or have you said) to someone who isn't black but takes offense to a website dedicated to black people? CC: Until it is the standard for people of color to be included in yoga communities locally and online, I believe sites dedicated to people of color are needed. Seeing teachers of color in the community is another layer of encouragement to practice yoga. Their knowledge and commitment to helping the community heal by sharing tools that they know of or that have worked for them can have an impact on the community. Being a part of organizations dedicated to people of color (such as my sorority, The National Society of Black Engineers, INROADS, etc.) throughout my life has positively affected me. I believe there is power in seeing our positive images represented in the community and in leadership positions. JC: How do you find yoga teachers to spotlight and feature on your site?   CC: I find yoga teachers through online research and through word of mouth. Searching for and connecting with other teachers of color is one of my favorite hobbies. JC: Can you explain the membership and benefits? CC: The site offers unlimited access to instructional videos ranging in time, level and style. Classes mindfully integrate asanas (postures), pranayama (breath work), and meditation to create an inner journey towards healing and empowerment. First-timers get a 30-day free trial and then membership is $19/month. Members will now have 24-hour support to get any site or yoga questions they have answered via email. JC: What do you see for the future of YGB? CC: We aspire to significantly improve the overall wellness of people of color. Our community motivates us so our future offerings, events and technological enhancements will be inspired by their wants and needs. JC: In one of our previous conversations, you mentioned that YGB has built a user base of over 105 sign-ups in one month in a low-key way, can you touch on that a little more? CC: We received incredible support from our community and a posting in a Facebook group dedicated to black yogis that went viral. Other sign-ups are contributed to word of mouth and organic traffic from our new and growing Facebook page. Our members are motivating us to keep grinding to share our images and teachings with as many people as possible. JC: How can we get in contact with you and/or YGB? CC: info@yogagreenbook.com. We love receiving emails from the community on anything yoga-related and input on what they want to see on our site next.  You can also keep up with us on Facebook and Instagram. Our social media communities are new and growing, and we have exciting things brewing for them, so stay tuned. After my interview with Carla, I didn’t know it was possible to have so much pride in a project that I didn’t personally create. But that’s exactly how I feel about Yoga Green Book. It’s something to be proud of. As a student, I definitely learn from the videos and blogs. And as a teacher, I love to implement what I learn in my classes and personal practice. My goal is to partner with YGB and create my own videos for the site (once I get over my anxiety of video taping myself). I hope as a community, we can support this platform. We are too often overlooked and underserved; Yoga Green Book is here to serve us. Let’s not let all their hard work be in vain. Loving Blavity's content? Sign up for our daily...

By now, you've pulled out your beanies and long coats, and you're probably checking your weather app on a regular basis. But cuddling is arguably the best way to beat the cold while both strengthening the immune system and lowering your risk of depression. With cuffing season fast-approaching, the draft is now open. How will you go about recruiting for your starting lineup? Or maybe you've already selected a few and now you're waiting to shoot your shot. All this means is that you still have time and ample opportunity to step your game up. That said, don't make these mistakes when recruiting this cuffing season: Not setting boundaries Know what it is before you get knee-deep in it. Know what you're willing to do and not willing to do when it comes to sexual favors, paying on dates and whether you should mention your "situationship" to family and friends. Cuffing season is about making it through the frigid winter cold by keeping your cuff life lit. You don't want to get burned because you didn't go into it with some kind of understanding. Having a clear understanding from the get-go will save you a lot of long-winded conversations come February. Not taking care of yourself first Know your status, and know your potential bae's status. Protection is important. Choosin' up too soon Don't make the mistake of letting charm and a nice smile keep you from exploring your options. Just know, after homecoming it's time to narrow in on those few strong contenders. Long distance cuffing That thing you had going on with your ex back home? Forget about it. Honestly, a long distance cuff is laughable when the temperatures drop below 45 degrees. Like, who's giving massages and booty rubs from 1,000 miles away? That's right, no one. Choosing someone that lives too close It's like deciding to date someone you work with, it's not a good look. You want your space when it's time to be alone and miss that other person. Also, you don't want it to be awkward if you don't text this person back and then you run into them taking out the trash or something. Or worse, cuffing season comes to a close and you seem to bump into each other all the time. Just avoid it altogether. Choosing someone from your immediate circle of friends This is almost never a good idea, especially if all your other friends are aware of it. It makes things awkward amongst the whole group if things end badly. Cuffing someone who can't cook You shouldn't be the only one in the kitchen! Find you someone who's willing to bring you breakfast in bed, knows how to make a decent sandwich, or at least owns a grill. Netflix and chill? More like, feed me and chill. Making permanent moves for your temporary bae This means making any legally binding decisions, whatever they might be. Don't list this person as your emergency contact and don't call this person if you need a shoulder to cry on. It might sound harsh, but it's in your best interest not to get to emotionally invested lest you know you it's real. Someone who doesn't have anything in common with you What if you plan on cuddling on Sundays and they're really into football? Or if you're really into protecting your energy and your partner has no idea what a chakra is? Really think about it, this is someone you could be snowed in with for days. Find someone with somewhat similar interests that you can actually hold a conversation with. Want more content like this? Sign up for Blavity's daily...

After months of push from Michigan Senators Debbie Stabenow and Gary Peters, both Democrats, the U.S. Senate has finally passed the Water Resources Development Act, which is good news for residents of Flint. The bill for nationwide water-related projects includes a whopping $100 million to lead pipes and infrastructure in any area where a state of emergency has been declared because of lead levels in the water. As it stands, this only applies to Flint, MI, where the water pipes were riddled with lead and put the city in a state of emergency earlier this year. But high levels of lead in the water were detected over a year ago, with reports of high blood-lead levels found in children not long after. Many residents are still resorting to bottled and filtered water for their daily needs, as the need for cleaner water remains. The Water Resources Development Act also includes a $300 million grant program through which communities can apply to receive funding for services including lead testing, corrosion control and education. Although the passage of this legislation in the Senate is great news, it might be an uphill battle to get the bill passed in the U.S. House in order to finally get to President Obama’s desk to be signed into law. Not only are legislative days running out, they have yet to pass legislation to fund the government itself. We can only hope, for the citizens of Flint, that this bill makes it through. Loving Blavity's content? Sign up for our daily...

Confession: I am a recovered beauty product junkie. Like most women, I’ve plucked, arched, waxed, bleached, painted, lightened, cut, shaved and whitened all in the name of beauty. Sounds normal, right? Stop me if you’ve heard this story before. Hidden in my apartment was a department store display’s worth of hair, makeup and bath products that I bought and accumulated over the years. I had beauty products on the counter, makeup in boxes, makeup on my desk, makeup on my dresser, makeup in my closet, makeup and perfumes hidden under my bed, bath products in special pretty boxes both big and small, makeup in drawers, makeup in my purse and even a small bag of makeup hidden under my car seat for those days when I thought I need that little extra "umph." Working at a high-end department store only served to fuel my addiction. Before long, I was the official makeup artist for all my friends, family members and co-workers. Occasionally, I’d get a paid gig doing makeup too. To my surprise, I learned that my husband and I were expecting a baby. Life couldn't get any better, or so I thought at the time. I was blissfully in love, living a life filled with makeup, yoga, girlfriends and on the verge of starting my own family. One evening after dinner, I was stricken by a jolting pain in my lower abdomen. I passed it off as cramps and slept it off.  As the days went on, the pain became more and more unbearable. I scheduled an appointment to see my obstetrician. After my ultrasound appointment, my physician sent me across town to see a specialist. That’s when I was informed that I had an ovarian tumor four times the size of my ovary. I left the appointment numb, sat in my car and cried. The ovarian tumor kept growing and it was absorbing the nutrients from my growing fetus. With the huge probability of the tumor rupturing at any given time, I was put on bedrest for the remainder of my pregnancy and I was barely showing. In fact, my doctor said that if I didn’t stop my 7 days-a-week workout regimen, the tumor could rupture and kill me in the process. Monthly appointments turned into weekly appointments. Nothing seemed important anymore, not even makeup. I hid in my apartment, avoiding calls from the outside world. I was not sure how to process what was going on, let alone how to explain to my friends or family what I was going through. I didn’t want to hear any negative comments or have a pity party. I just wanted to get back to my normal life as soon as possible. My mom passed away when I was 15 years old from a car accident. If there was a time when I needed her the most, it was then. Just to hear her voice or give me that look of assurance that everything was going to be okay. Oddly enough, as I sat in our apartment alone, I could hear her voice tell me, like many times before, not to give up. I realized I was allowing this tumor to suck the life out of me and my unborn child. I made a decision to stay positive, to fight, and more importantly, to learn as much as I could about what was going on with my body. I became obsessed with ensuring my survival. I asked questions at every doctor’s appointment. I asked so many questions, my physicians became annoyed. When someone wasn’t able to answer my questions, I found a physician that could. The more I learned about my health and my pregnancy, the more my hunger for knowledge increased. One afternoon, I stumbled upon a research study explaining the impact ingredients have on our overall health. I discovered the link between food, beauty products, toxic preservatives and the affects certain chemicals have on the endocrine system, the reproductive system and on unborn fetuses. I began to change how I ate and what I used on my skin and in my hair. Years earlier while in college, I would craft and experiment with natural butters, oils and conditioners in my apartment. I made my own hair care products and thought since I couldn’t find what I was looking for, then I would just make my own natural, luxurious, chemical-free bath and skincare products to use. Years later, I found solace and peace in learning about formulations, plant oils, local sourcing and creating healthy options that were safe enough for me to use while I was pregnant and later on, on my baby. In retrospect, becoming pregnant actually saved my life. While bearing my child, life began to have a new meaning. While my pregnancy was difficult and trying, I learned about self-love and the true meaning of self-care. I also learned about the willpower I had to overcome obstacles and to truly love all of me, both good and bad. Balancing life and death at my fingertips, I made the choice to enjoy life each day, because tomorrow, after all, isn’t guaranteed. During my c-section, the tumor was removed and I gave birth to a healthy baby girl. Four years later, I own and run an amazing skincare business where I get to make natural and organic products that don't contain the toxic stuff that harms us all. I can truly say that I am no longer a beauty product junkie, but instead I use makeup and skincare to educate individuals about the effect ingredients in skincare have on our overall health. I have a huge passion for helping others learn about wellness, self-acceptance and staying informed when it comes to their health. By sharing my story, I hope to inspire and encourage individuals to stay strong when faced with challenges. For more personal essays like this, sign up for our daily newsletter! A self proclaimed recovered beauty product junkie, Barbara Jacques is the Founder, Creative Director and Chief Formulator at Jacq's Organics, an all-natural plant-based skin and body product line based in South Florida. She speaks and writes about natural skincare. Follow her on Twitter, Instagram, and check...