When your man tells you he wants to “beat it up,” he’s most certainly referring to rough sex. From what I can tell many women have adopted this way of receiving sex: Hard and fast, as if that’s the way it’s supposed to be. Some treat it as if a man isn’t serving it up rough, he’s not doing anything. Men who make love this way approach it like a sport: Racing to the finish line like they have something to prove, not realizing the power in grace and ease.

There is nothing sexy or appealing to me when a man says he wants to “bust my back out.” I’m like, “You wanna do what? No, thanks.”

What fun is there in pounding it out when your man hasn’t taken the time to heat you up? Here’s the deal: Men, nine times out 10, don’t need much inspiration other than pure attraction. But women on the other hand need to be approached like cold water in a tea kettle. We need time to heat up. There is a common misconception that if a woman shows any sign of moisture then she’s ready. Wrong!

If a woman shows signs of moisture, it means her body is working. Unfortunately, even some women don’t have this understanding of our own bodies. Many of us do not know to encourage our partners to keep the play going so we may become overflowing with bliss allowing the yoni to become fully expanded and ready to receive. When he goes for the score I simply whisper, “I’m not ready.”

Some of you are reading this going, “Speak for yourself” or “I like it rough” and “I stay ready!” To all of that I say good for you, and keep reading.

I cannot explain the excitement I experience when I meet a man eager to make love to me in a way that is gentle and tender. I love the effort of a man who understands the power of taking his time with my body, as if he’s studying my anatomy and knows what to do. I love a man who can listen to the desires of my body simply because of his intention to do so.

Male and female anatomy

When the penis and vagina are untied during intercourse they are a force, one passive, one active — a live electromagnetic circuit. The vagina represents a negative pole, passive and receptive while the penis represents a positive pole active and giving. The two come together and make electricity, formulating an energetic field that has the power to heal and create.

When there is a lot of hard, fast thrusting the vagina responds by creating a wall to protect itself and then becomes somewhat desensitized. A woman’s vagina is way more receptive to a man’s penis when she is fully aroused. Sure, aggressive sex can be fun and pleasurable but slow, deep, intentional love making is just as amazing. In fact, in my humble opinion, much more gratifying. Slow sex encourages deep intimacy. Frequent, fast sex can delay it. If you haven’t already, try it and thank me later.

Male and female anatomy

For more information on this topic read: ‘Tantric Orgasm for Women‘

READ NEXT: Embrace your sexuality, be empowered by feminine energy!

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