Dear Southern Black Family,
This is the first day of gay pride month, and I am happy and blessed to have found a partner who will love my imperfections as much as she loves the “SunShine.” But, as June begins and the sun extends our days, the thought of taking my family south to meet and visit my loved ones, creates strong winds and forboding overcast.
Can I? Better yet, should I?
My loving southern black family is saturated in a heteronormative world and is against same-gender loving relationships. So, to pull up like Sidney Poitier in “Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner,” will not result in a warm southern welcome with iced tea, chicken, fried fish, potato salad, collard greens, and homemade cakes. Instead, it would be more side eyes, whispers, and tension-filled air.
As we make plans for our summer, I reminisce about the summers in the south as a kid. The love and feeling of home ring true and those summers are worth reliving. Going to gospel programs, playing on the porch, walking in the forest, and enjoying our family's farms – was all the entertainment we needed.
No cellphone. No internet. Limited TV.
Just thinking about it all makes me smile and feel sad – because the place that connects me to my heritage is the same place that has me hesitant. Hesitant to bring my wife and kids to visit the place my family calls “HOME.” Even though I was raised and born in the Bronx, being from a southern family “HOME” always refers to North Carolina.
As I continue to question subjecting my wife and young children to “HOME,” I wonder if love will override the homophobia. I'm Unsure. To tell you the truth, at times I care, and other times I can’t afford to.
Love.
Why does the LGBTQIA community need a month to celebrate? The answer is simple. Because 52 weeks and 365 days a year we battle trying to ensure our safety, dignity, spirituality, and humanity.
So, on this first day of Gay Pride, I have decided "HOME" is where my family is respected, safe and sound. "HOME" is in my heart. It is not a location. It is a space of love, acceptance, joy, forgiveness, and support. This summer we will be staying "HOME."
Happy Gay Pride Month!!!
