After embarking on a path of self-discovery in recent years, Wayne Brady has found an answer that has helped him find peace within himself. Speaking with People, the 51-year-old actor came out as pansexual. Although he initially considered the definition of bisexual, Brady said he realized that he doesn’t fit into that description.
“I couldn’t say if I was bisexual, because I had to really see what that was, especially because I really have not gotten a chance to act on anything,” the Hollywood star told People.
Brady said he realized that he is “attracted to anyone who identifies as gay, straight, bi, transsexual or nonbinary.”
“I think, at least for me for right now, that is the proper place,” he said. “I took pan to mean that not only can I be attracted to any of these people or types physically, but I could be attracted to the person that is there.”
Brady said Robin Williams’ death in 2014 inspired him to look deep within himself. At that time, Brady became involved with several organizations, including mental health advocacy groups.
“And not just the buzzword of mental health, but really what do I have to do to function in this big world and still be OK with yourself and more importantly, to love yourself so that you don’t hurt yourself?” he said. “Not even just physically hurting yourself, but not taking care of yourself because you are depressed and frightened and weighed down.”
The path of self-discovery prompted Brady to ask tough questions about himself.
“Once I opened that door to myself though, I had to start learning about myself, and I had to start owning up to things that maybe I’d either repressed, suppressed, or just didn’t wanna deal with,” he said.
At one point, Brady said he thought, “I could be absolutely pain-free of whatever this is inside of me,” he said. “And when I felt that, I went, “Oh, s**t. OK. let’s get to the bottom of it. Let’s do it now.”
When he chose to do therapy, Brady said he “was treated for love addiction.”
“I had to start examining why I was looking for myself and happiness in a slew of people. If I marry this person, then everything will be fine. If I date this person, everything will be fine,” he said. “I now know absolutely that love addiction is borne of trauma. I can’t feel any shame around that, just like I wouldn’t shame somebody if they said they were addicted to meth or cocaine. That’s a sickness.”
As he continued to wonder what he’s looking for in other people and why he is never satisfied, Brady asked himself if he is gay.
“The answer was no because despite having been in all of these unsuccessful relationships and now dealing with what I know can be diagnosed as love addiction, I started to go, ‘OK, I’m feeling something, but I just don’t know how to get there,'” he said. “And then I felt like a fraud.”
Now that he found a part of himself that has brought him peace, Brady said he’s “still coming together” and trying to be “the most Wayne Brady I can be.”
“If I’m healthy, then I can go onstage at Let’s Make A Deal and be the best Wayne Brady that everybody wants and expects,” he said. “I can be the best dad that Maile needs. I can be the best friend to Mandie, the best son to my mother, and one day, the best partner to someone, because I’m doing this for me.”