Ok, I admit I get sucked into The Shade Room from time to time, but recently I was reading the tea on Rob Kardashian and Blac Chyna, and I was a little appalled. According to Rob, he spent an exorbitant amount of money on her and she was caught cheating on him. Their tumultuous relationship has been displayed on social media, and even on their E! series, Rob & Chyna. Like I said, sometimes it is easy getting sucked into celebrity drama, but I realized something as I was craving for Rob to post more dirt on Blac Chyna—this is defamation. This whole, “let’s expose my ex” has got to stop, and particularly to black women.

For some reason, the hyper-sexualization of black women is absolutely insane. I love that some black women are sexually liberated, however, society does not respect that woman’s choice. Once a black woman is found to be sexual, she is shamed and dehumanized. It is not funny anymore. We are clearly getting one side of the story as of now, so who is to say Rob was not cheating on Chyna? And let’s not forget the abuse claims Chyna has made about him. This is what I am saying, people are coming to the defense of Rob without taking a measured approach to the situation. Of course cheating is not OK if you're in a committed relationship, but what was the purpose of exposing her infidelities? Sorry, but Rob, you played yourself with this one.

There have been so many times when black women are demonized for failed relationships, or for them having sex with a high profile person. This is so daunting and I do not think we have gotten to a place where people call this out for being wrong. If you read the comments on social media about the situation, people are still slut-shaming Chyna and saying degrading things about her. I get it. It is hard to unlearn misogynistic tendencies because we grew up being taught women are whores for having sex, and boys are just being boys if they do so. But, we have to support black women more. Even though the narrative often paints it as the woman’s fault for failed relationships, try to stop yourself from thinking this.

One reason I do not support shows like Love and Hip-Hop, is that it often makes black women look like they cannot formulate a healthy relationship. The men speak badly of these women and act as if they did no wrong in the relationships. I am sick of black women being painted as the villain when it comes to romance. There was absolutely no reason to post Chyna’s nude photos on the internet without her permission. Men calling out women for being sexual makes no sense to me. You decided to be with this woman for her sexual prowess, and yet it is the very reason you dislike her?

We do not know the full story. We got a lot of receipts from Rob, but we have no clue what provoked Blac Chyna to do the things she did. What is also frustrating is that Rob has cheated in the past, and I am sure he would not have liked to be blasted like he did Chyna.

I am still shocked at how many people came to his defense and did not say how wrong he was for airing out their business. One day I hope to see more people respecting black women’s bodies. The commodification and sexualization of black women is repulsive, and it was clearly shown with this break-up. She does not have to be the mother of his child for him to respect her. She did her dirt, but he took it to another level of insecurity. This kind of tea is not entertaining.