Don’t believe the hype. To those who claim that as soon as he or she puts a ring on it that solo travel is off the table, think again. Traveling alone is a rewarding experience that enriches the traveler, and in turn, the marriage. Some traditionalists argue that traveling alone while married defeats the purpose of being married. To those people, I say, that’s completely absurd! I’m a strong believer in both solo travel, and solo travel while married. Here’s why:
Independent travel is a time to recharge:
As a wife, we wear an infinite number of hats from chef to housekeeper to accountant to therapist to hype-woman to lover, friend, and everything in between. If you’re a mother, add another 1,456 more jobs to that list. We switch from one role to another instinctively, and without complaint or second thought. Just because we’re able to move from one role to the next with ease doesn’t mean that our jobs, however fulfilling, don’t affect us physically, mentally, and emotionally. Traveling alone allows for a moment of reprieve where the only person you’re “in charge of” is yourself.
What’s for lunch today? Whatever your heart desires. What’s on the schedule? Whatever you’d like. Where are we going? Nowhere, if you’d prefer it. Instead of juggling the emotions, needs and wants of two or more people, for that weekend, or however long, you get to tune in and listen more closely to your own needs and wants. You can hear your body speaking to you above a whisper and truly tap into what you want, and don’t want, without distraction, guilt, or an intimidating to-do list of 100 things staring you down!
Solo travel brings out different aspects of your personality:
When you travel with your partner, different aspects of your personality either come forward or fade away. For example, if you’re not so great at directions (read: you’d get lost in a paper bag) and your partner is basically a walking compass, you’re more likely to take a passive role while traveling because you can. When you’re solo, well, either you find ways to figure it out, or you sit on a bench double-tapping on IG until your phone runs out of juice. Since you’re traveling alone, you’re forced to activate certain traits that although difficult, are still within reach. Are you normally indecisive? While traveling alone, there’s nobody there to decide for you, so you must, at last, choose.
You may very well find that independent traveling highlights certain personality traits that don’t usually get as much shine. It’s enlightening and empowering to see that “you still got it” and by it, you probably mean the ability to kill that cockroach on your own, find and choose a restaurant in another language/country/city or the pure apologeticness to eat at a crowded restaurant alone or have a drink in a spot just because you’re feeling the music. There is, in fact, a level between codependent and independent and that’s very clear when traveling alone as a married person.
To miss, and to be missed:
There is both love and respect in a healthy relationship. No doubt. There’s also, on the other hand, a certain level of comfortability and familiarity. When you spend every day with someone for many years, it’s completely natural to feel at rest and cared for. In the same vein, unless you check yourself, it’s very easy to take certain things for granted. It happens to the best of us. When you begin to move as one, you start to rely on your partner without a second thought. “What? I assumed that toilet paper magically refilled itself” “What is meal prepping, and how does my partner do it all in less than 3 hours?”
When you remove one crucial person from the equation it allows for just enough space and distance to be missed. Roles are moved around and you get to employ skill sets that you may not use normally. This isn’t to say that you’re incapable because you’re more than capable. It’s a beautiful reminder of how much you and your partner contribute to making your relationship and loving and thriving union.
Solo travel is a great conversation starter:
Shared experience is magnificent, but so is being able to bring something foreign and new to the convo. If you live every single minute experience together, the conversation may stagnate quicker. Use those storytelling skills and descriptive language and paint a picture so detailed your partner will feel like they were there too!
Ego check:
We all want to think that no one else in the world can do what we do. And for the sake of brevity, sure, that’s let’s just go with that. I recently took a trip to the north of Spain while my husband spent the weekend at home with friends and his hobbies. For me, letting go of the reins was liberating and a bit nerve-wracking. Why? In my moments of heightened ego, I (very wrongly) assume that things won’t get done unless I do them. That’s a spirit of ego. That’s a fear of losing control. By stepping away for the weekend, I learned that invaluable lesson, and I was also reminded of how capable, talented, and supportive my husband is. Coming home to an impeccably clean flat, a fridge full of food, lunch prepared for the week, love, and stories to share? That, my friends, is truly priceless.
So, I encourage all of the travelers to travel as a couple, of course, but don’t completely discount just how beneficial solo travel can be for your relationship! Any married solo travelers out there? What was your experience like? Share below!
