Alright fam, here's the deal.

There is a current tragedy going under-discussed. This is one that has been silent for much time, plaguing the beds and bodies of women for centuries (drumroll for tragedy disclosure, please). Too many women are not receiving orgasms from sex. Wow, what a shocker, right? This lack of reciprocity is normalized, but seemingly fiction from the sexual representation of film and pornography. I’m here to tell you, it’s a real thing.

I’ve been sexually active since 16. I’ve had multiple partners under a myriad of circumstances, but I’d not experienced a sexual peak during intercourse until 25, which is currently my age. I never expected fulfillment. I never knew that whether or not I would climax from sex was highly dependent on me, my understanding of my body and respect for my sexual self. I’m far from alone. This doesn’t just affect women without knowledge of self, without ambition and even without a partner they love dearly. It affects women of all ages and sexual preferences. Giving a woman an orgasm takes patience. It takes study. It takes consideration. We have entered the age of sexual liberation for the woman with this “slut celebration” underway. It acknowledges the existence of the sexual woman and her healing from being shamed and labeled for exploring her sexual self. That’s beautiful, but there are layers to this sexual healing shit. Now, while we get comfortable with our desire to let man (or another woman) explore us, we must also get comfortable with us exploring ourselves. That’s right—the solution of the orgasm-less woman lies in her own hands…literally.

From the dawn of puberty there is this little joke about boys and lotion, right? They want to touch themselves all day, every day. They want to feel the ecstasy that is ejaculation. Frankly, it’s a gross, but truly a beautiful thing. It is a blossoming. The focus of girls and puberty is acne, moodiness, small painful tits and blood (facetious horrified scream). Do the ladies not go through a sexual blossoming as well? Why yes we do! Yes. We. Do. I was all over anyone I found attractive as a child. Male, Female, I did not discriminate. I felt that same rush from rubbing my clothed clitoris against something, as boys felt from touching themselves. So why is it that many women don’t touch or even really look at their own vaginas while their partners have touched, smelled, tasted and entered their holy grails? Seems like an imbalance, huh?

Perhaps the answer lies in exploring your own garden. Therefore, we are able to communicate our desires. We are able to lead a willing partner down the road of success. For quite frankly too many men, the idea of you having an orgasm, and them being of assistance, never occurred to them! You have to grab life by the clitoris and take back your orgasm. You have to breathe, pull your pants down and explore yourself until you find it. Then spread the news, spread it far and wide. For you will fly, and everybody wants to fly. Hello!