I picked it up on a depressed drive alone to Barnes and Noble. I had no idea what was wrong with me. I just knew that I was sad, I was tired, I was alone, and I was extremely tired of feeling that way. Tears were burning me through the back of my eyes but I couldn't cry. I ordered a 20-piece nugget meal from McDonald's and ate it. You know- when you try to make yourself feel better by destroying your body.

That day I was so stressed out. Literally at the end of my rope. Texting exes who didn't care. Groping the air. Squeezing the atmosphere and begging my breath to leave me. Not so I could die, but so it wasn't stuck in my throat choking the words and emotions that were begging to come out.

I was literally at the end of my rope. But instead of calling anyone for help I drove to Barnes and Noble alone.

Needless to say, I don't have many relationships in my life that are offsetting the severe panic that comes with living it. Is there somebody I could've called for help? Probably. Do I believe that talking to anybody would've helped? No.

It's called mental illness. It destroys your ability to build healthy relationships with people. Pardon Kanye. He doesn’t know how to speak to people anymore. He's mentally ill. I can relate. We don't get it anymore. How to speak to the world. I was in Barnes and Noble that day though, on a mission to change that. To cure myself, I started a book series for growth, for change, for self-awareness.

And that is how I got to the place where I am now.

Here are the 4 things I learned about mental health from "The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog" by Dr. Bruce Perry

Reexamine your ability to make and keep friends.

As humans, we need relationships like the day needs a sunrise.

I've been thinking a lot about relationships lately. Did you know you that you need love to grow? According to this book. Literally. A baby, if not given love, will die. The statistic for kids dying due to lack of love is something crazy.

"One study in the forties found that more than a third of children raised in an institution without receiving individual attention died by age two." – Dr. Bruce Perry

Relationships are needed in order to complete your journey. Whatever journey you might be on right now. Whether that is school/ your job/ your family/ your business/ whatever your dreams are. You need love and support in order to feel the fulfillment of your goals. Because without love.. you have nothing. So reach out to your friends, because you need them. And it is okay to yearn for love; because you need it.

What happens to the brain when it experiences emotional, physical, or blunt trauma

Unhealthy habits, unhealthy ways of dealing with stress, eating too much, dreaming too much, drinking too much, smoking too much, isolation, disassociation, zoning in/out- one minute you’re here but the next you don't remember what you were doing or why.

Personally, I think I'm traumatized and I wonder if other people know. How about you? Do you know? Is your best friend traumatized? Is your mother traumatized? Is your sister traumatized? How many of us experience traumatic events and just move past it? How many of us consider the damage it's done to our brain?

Dissociation is a symptom of mental illness.

Dissociation: the state of being disconnected.

When I was a kid, whenever my parents would argue I would block them out at the bottom of the staircase at my home. Now when I get stressed out, I zone out. Sometimes I don't even remember what happened 45 minutes before. Do you do that too? Zone out completely when things start to stress you out? That's a serious problem, my friend.

We all should stop throwing around the words "mental health" like we know what we are talking about

Yes. you. The mental health supporter till the death of you,

These are real diseases. We minimize the experience of someone with severe anxiety when we lament about how this person is acting in a way that doesn't agree with you because they have "anxiety issues". Anxiety is a growing issue among millennials and teens. It is. But the disease is a lot more complicated than you may think. So shut up- or read a book to back up your opinion.

Furthermore, unless you're a neurologist you won't ever understand the damages done to the brain that is causing the person you've diagnosed with mental health issues (Kanye) to behave the way he/she is. Yes, he may be acting crazy or bizarre. But leave the diagnosis of what's going on with his brain to the professionals.

In many cases,  Due to circumstances out of our control, we are robbed out of receiving something we need when our brain needs it the most like love.

Like if your mama was locked up in front of you or your daddy was never around- and you were 13 so you had no one to cry to. Or you didn't know how to cry then, but you have control now. So you can do it. Let people help you. Let people love you.

I'm okay with letting my family help me out right now. They've helped me tremendously this past year and instead of allowing the idea of receiving love and support to freak me out I need to allow myself to cash in on all the love and support I got robbed of.

So don't be so hard on yourself if you're depressed. It's okay. Acknowledging the way you feel gives value to it.

Recovering from mental health issues are a lot harder than we all think but with love, support, and a willingness to survive we can make this happen for you.

Let people surprise you in 2019. Maybe they're not as terrible as we all think.

The systems in your brain that get repeatedly activated will change, and the systems in your brain that don't get activated won't change – Dr. Bruce Perry. 

How much can we fix by simply instilling a new set of habits?